Building a Celestial Family: Part 4

Invite the Holy Ghost

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

One thing that's really great about commandments and counsel is that they are always accompanied by blessings. In this case, President Eyring testified that as we try to forgive, seek the hapiness of our family members, and be kind, we invite the Holy Ghost. That's beautiful! I'd like to break this promise into two parts and examine it a little more.

First, I'd like to talk about the actual blessing: the Holy Ghost will come into our families. That's pretty great. Don't we all want the Holy Ghost in our families and homes? The peace it brings, the understanding, the love? Our homes are to be a sacred and safe place. They can't be that unless we have the Holy Ghost in them. We need the Holy Ghost in our lives and in our homes. The Lord promises, through President Eyring, that He will send the Holy Ghost as we follow this counsel. If we knew that the Holy Ghost would come as a result our our forgiveness, our sacrifice, and our kind words, how much more eager would we be to do these things? Can we forgive more? Can we sacrifice for our family members? Can we be more kind in our speech? (Hint: Yes.) So let's make that a goal, me and you. To be more kind and forgiving. Today.

The other part: "As we try to do these things." The Lord doesn't expect perfection. And that is a beautiful thing. He's not saying, once you're perfectly forgiving, perfectly sacrificing, perfectly kind, then I'll send the Holy Ghost. No. He says, "Just try, and I'll send my Spirit to help you. Just try." When we try, when we put forth any effort into this, He send the Holy Ghost and multiplies what we can do. And isn't that great! We need the Holy Ghost to be perfectly forgiving. We try, and He helps. We try seek the happiness of our family members above our own, and He helps. We try to be kind, and He helps. He sends that Holy Ghost as we try to do these things. And, oh, it is wonderful.


So, as I finally conclude this series, I challenge you to try take President Eyring's counsel to heart. Try to be a little more forgiving, try to seek the happiness of your family members, try to speak kind words. And I, next to President Eyring, testify that the Holy Ghost will come into your heart and your home.



This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." Missed the beginning? Find them here: Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. 

Building a Celestial Family: Part 3

Be kind in our speech. 

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

I often tell my brother and sister "Use soft words." Paul wrote to the Corinthians, "Love is patient, love is kind" (1 Cor 13:4-9). The Lord taught us this again through another prophet in the Book of Mormon, Moroni. Words can be hurtful. Yelling, shouting, and insulting our family members does not build loving relationships and invite the spirit.

We should make a devoted effort to be kind when speaking to each other, especially when children are in our homes. Children learn what "love" means by the actions of those who tell them "I love you." Do we want to teach our children or brothers and sisters that "I love you" means yelling and shouting, insulting each other, and never acknowledging strengths?

This is something that I still am working to overcome. Almost every day, my patience runs short and I have to say, "I'm sorry for using hard words. Can you forgive me? Can you give me another chance?" We are not perfect. I am not perfect. We should strive to be kind in our speech. We should ask forgiveness, and keep trying. As President Eyring said, we invite the Holy Ghost into our families as we strive to be kind to our parents and siblings.



This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." Missed the beginning? Find it here: Intro, Part 1, and Part 2. Read the final post here: Part 4. 

Building a Celestial Family: Part 2

Seek the happiness of others above our own. 

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

"Testifying of God's 'eternal purposes,' the prophet Lehi taught, 'Men are, that they might have joy' (2 Nephi 2:15, 25). Many people try to find happiness and fulfillment in activities that are contrary to the Lord's commandments. Ignoring God's plan for them, they reject the only source of real happiness. They give in to the devil, who 'seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself' (2 Nephi 2:27). Eventually they learn the truth of Alma's warning to his son Corianton: 'Wickedness never was happiness' (Alma 41:10). . . . We will find peaceful, eternal happiness as we strive to keep the commandments, pray for strength, repent of our sins, participate in wholesome activities, and give meaningful service."

President Eyring counsels us to seek the happiness of others. The way to find lasting happiness is through the gospel. In mixed-member families, some parents or siblings don't know the gospel. Even in most whole-member families, there's probably one or two parents or siblings who aren't living gospel standards. We are called to be a "city on a hill," a lighthouse (Matthew 5:14, 3 Nephi 12:14). Lighthouses direct sailors when the waters are rough. We, too, can lead our families through rough waters, knowing that we have the true path to happiness. The Lord desires that every member of the human family return to Him, sealed in smaller family units. He wants our family sealed and living a celestial level of life. People can't live celestial if they don't know celestial. We need to teach our families, in their head and in the heart, what the gospel is and what it means. We can do this by being an example, and also talking about the gospel. We can be the one to bring our families home to Heavenly Father. 

The second part of the above quote describes how we can find "peaceful, eternal happiness." Two in the list are wholesome activities and service. We can have wholesome fun with our families and serve others together. Watching movies, playing board games, going for mini golf or to the park are all ways families can bind and have fun together. Families can serve by visiting those in need, baking cookies to deliver to others, or teaching a child's friend about Jesus Christ. All of these can be done in whole- or part-member families. As families grow close together, trust is built, and we move toward a celestial level of family life. 

Familiy life requires sacrifice, and the gospel requires sacrifice. Families will not be happy if everyone demands on getting what they want right away. The psalmist wrote: "I will freely sacrifice unto thee: I will praise thy name, O Lord; for it is good" (Psalm 54:6). We must be willing to sacrifice and compromise. If my brother wants to play Mouse Trap but I want to play Clue, I must be willing to sacrifice sometimes. If I want meatloaf for dinner, but the rest of my family really wants spaghetti, I might have to sacrifice. By the same token, there will be days when a brother or sister has to sacrifice - they don't get to play their game or have their preferred dinner. When that happens we should be kind and loving towards them, and appreciative of their sacrifice.

Achieving happiness in family life is a family effort, but it starts with just one person.


This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." Missed the first posts? Find them here: Intro, Part 1. Then read the rest: Part 3, Part 4. 

Building a Celestial Family: Part 1

Forgive quickly and fully. 

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

The guide to the scriptures says: "As people forgive each other, they treat one another with Christlike love and have no bad feelings toward those who have offended them." That's kind of big. The Gospel of Luke records Jesus as telling us, "If [a brother] trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him" (Luke 17:3-4). Jesus again commands us to forgive without end in Matthew: "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven" (Matt 18:21-22). 

The Savior said this to us again in our day through the Prophet Joseph Smith "And so on unto the second and third time; and as oft as thine enemy repenteth of the trespass wherewith he has trespassed against thee, thou shalt forgive him, until seventy times seven." (D&C 98:40). The Lord commands us that if someone continues to hurt us withour repenting, we are still to forgive him: " And if he do this [continue in wrongdoing without repentance], thou shalt forgive him with all thine heart; and if he do not this, I, the Lord, will avenge thee of thine enemy an hundred-fold" (D&C 98:45). The Savior asks us to forgive everyone, but He doesn't ask us to make them pay. Like every single commandment the Lord gives, this is for our benefit. Holding a grudge hurts. Living in anger is not fun. Scientific studies in recent years are showing that a lack or forgiveness on our part makes us unhealthy. The command to forgive those who persecute us is given for our benefit. The Lord tells us to forgive others because He knows we can't live the abundance that He desires for us when we carry all that hurt. The Lord assures us that when we forgive, this person isn't receiving a "get out of jail free" card: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).  He's allowing us to let go and move on, while assuring us that He will take care of the justice or mercy towards this person. Vengeance is not our job. However many times we say "I hate this person," it won't make up for the wrong. It won't give us any peace. The only peace comes from the Savior, when we know we are forgiven, and we forgive others. 

I worked a bible camp for kids this week. On Thursday, our Bible point or catch phrase for the day was "God has the power to forgive." The teachers told the kids that God has this power, and He shares it with us. God forgives us, and He gives us the power to turn around and forgive other people. That's true for little kids, for grown-ups, and for teens. He forgives all if we repent, and He gives us the power to forgive and let go of that hurt. 

It is important for us to forgive in our families. "Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness" (Bible Dictionary, "Temple"). Our homes are supposed to be as sacred and holy as the temple. That's pretty sacred and holy. Can we have that holiness, that presence of the Lord, when we are forgetting to ask forgiveness and give forgiveness? when we are holding grudging and getting even? No. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Mercy is the essence of the gospel." Our homes should be places of mercy and forgiveness. If children don't experience forgiveness in their homes, how will they believe that our God is a god of forgiveness? (Nehemiah 9:17). We, especially those of us members living in nonmember homes are to be "an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (1 Tim 4:12). If the essence of the gospel is forgiveness, shouldn't we be abundantly splashing our families with forgiveness?

This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." You can find the rest here: Intro, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Building a Celestial Family: Intro

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

I read the First Presidency message for June, which I don't usually do, because the title stood out to me: "Families Can Be Together Forever." The article talked about how we can make our family relationships celestial while here on earth. That stood out to me, because my family is not like that. We don't really get along, there are disputes about beliefs, and our home is not a place the Spirit can dwell because there's constant bickering and not much remembering the Savior. That's something I'm trying to change over the summer. So this article caught my attention. I love the above quoted paragraph particularly. I wrote it on a card and tapes it where I'd always see it, to remind to do the things President Eyring counsels: 1) forgive quickly and fully, 2) seek the happiness of others, 3) be kind in our speech. President Eyring states that as we do our best to do these things, the Holy Ghost will be present in our families and lives. That's something I really want! So I want to examine each of these points a little further. 

I started writing this as one post, but it was incredibly long, so I'll post it as a series. Check back soon for Part 1, on forgiving.


The whole series has been posted! Click for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.