2021 Book Bucket List

This year is the first year in a long time that I might have more free time and headspace to read. I used to love reading, but the mental and emotional business of being a graduate student left little time for it. 

I knew I wanted to get back into reading more this year, and I hovered around setting a goal. I didn't know what number of books would be reasonable and a bit of a stretch. I went back and forth. 

Finally, I decided that rather than setting a goal for the number of books I wanted to read, I'd set a goal for the types of books I'd read. 

I knew I wanted to read more diverse authors. I knew I wanted to learn about topics that are important. I also knew I'd read some of my favorite and familiar topics, and wanted those to count, so they're on the list, too. For some categories, I thought about specific books I wanted to read, and created a category for them.

I typed out a long list, made a little chart where I can check off categories and record the title I read, and we're a go!

I know it's almost a month into the year, but I'm so excited to learn about new topics and old topics from old voices and new voices. 

Reader Report: Best Books of 2017

For 2017, I set a goal to read 100 books.

I spent a LOT of this year reading. Sometimes it was boring, but mostly, it was awesome. I crossed so many books off my to-read list. I laughed and I learned. I don't think I'll read 100 books next year, but I will keep reading.

As the year draws to a close, I wanted to compile a list of some of the best books I read this year.

Nonfiction - Religion

The Faith Club: A Muslim, A Christian, A Jew - Three Women Search For Understanding

Rayna Idliby, Suzanne Oliver, and Priscilla Warner

In this book, three women meet to collaborate on a children's book promoting religious literacy and interfaith dialogue. On the way, they realize their own misconceptions and work towards greater interfaith understanding. Religious people - read this!

What We Talk About When We Talk About God

Rob Bell

Rob Bell, man. Rob Bell is a pastor of an American church and a theologian for the common people. Bell is treading new paths and redescribing the way we look at God and the Bible - and you don't need a doctorate to understand. This books presents God as bigger, fuller, more complex than what we have thought in the past. Bell challenges us to think of a God who is bigger than us and what we've been thinking, a God who challenges us to be more.

Mormon Feminism: Essential Writings

Joanna Brooks, Rachel Hunt Steenblik, and Hannah Wheelwright

This book is so, so good. Brooks, Steenblik, and Wheelwright compile a new collection of essays, fiction, and poetry on Mormon feminism from the 1970s onward. Some if new historical studies into Mormon history and Mormon women's involvement in the women's movement early on. Others describe current issues and offer alternative paradigms and possible solutions. Whether you agree or not, this is a good book to understand where Mormon feminists are coming from. Mormons - read this!

How Do You Spell God?

Mark Gellman & Thomas Hartman

A rabbi and a priest team up to write a religious education book for older children and preteens. Covering the world's six major religions (and some smaller ones!) this book compares ideas of God, heaven, morality, clergy, and more. Heart information, accessible even to kids. Religious literacy is so important, and this book is a wonderful tool!

The Power Of Myth

Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers

Joseph Campbell, a scholar of comparative mythology, covers all kind of topics - sin, salvation, heroes, ritual, marriage, and more. What is the value of myth to religion? And how do various mythologies convey the same religious truths? Campbell addresses this and more with Bill Moyers.

Excavating Jesus

John Dominic Crossan and ‎Jonathan L. Reed

A former Catholic priest and an archaeologist team up to present the historical Jesus in his first-century Palestinian context. With detailed descriptions of archaeological evidence and careful readings of written evidence in the gospels, Crossan and Reed build an engaging portrait of what this man's life may have looked like. Christians - read this!

Fiction

The Jungle 

Upton Sinclair

First described to me as a novel about unsanitary meat packaging, this novel is so much more. Sinclair tackles life for immigrant families at the turn of the 19th century, life for the poor, life for working class. The protagonist family suffers repeatedly at the hands of the wealthy. Injustice exposed. Eye opening. Rich people - read this!

Franny And Zooey

J.D. Salinger

This book doesn't really have a plot. But it's one of those novels that has such beautiful prose that you just want to drink. You just lay there looking at this book and read it over and over and try your best to soak up the beauty. 

Journey To The East

Herman Hesse

Another of those "drink it up beautiful" novels. It's about a pilgrim who, you guessed it, journeyed to the East looking for spiritual fulfillment. 

The Stepford Wives

Ira Levin

One neighborhood, a men's club up on a hill, and women who only want to keep house. Suspicious? This one keeps you on the edge of your seat, for sure.

A Lesson Before Dying

Ernest J. Gaines

Two black men struggling to live fully in southern Louisiana. One in jail, one a poor teacher. Both are changed. Enlightening on issues of race. White people - read this!

Reader Report: January 2016

Over the summer, I began writing "Reader Report" posts, to keep track of what I was reading and share the great stuff I found. Over the past months, those have become exhausting and not fun to write or read. There are some books I just skipped over, didn't post about them. These are, like I said, not fun to write and not fun to read.

However, I do still want to keep track of what I'm reading and share the good stuff. So I'm going to change how I do that. Instead of reporting on every single book, I'll do shorter updates every once in a while and say what I've been reading and what I thought - short and sweet (hopefully).

Here goes!!


 Daughters in My Kingdom, published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
***** (5 stars)
This book was SO, SO, SO good. If you're a woman, if you're a member of the Church, if you love women, if you care about others - read this book. It covers the history of the Relief Society from Nauvoo to Salt Lake City and then around the world to today. It includes quotes and stories from prophets, Relief Society general president, and women of the Church worldwide. I learned so much reading this book, and was reminded of how much I love the women I've met in the Church. They are numerous, and their influence for good in my life cannot be measured. I have always loved Relief Society, and this book just made me love it more. 

I highly recommend this book. You can order the book for $3, download it as a PDF or MP3, or read online - click here.


Multiple Blessings, Jon and Kate Gosselin
I Just Want You to Know, Kate Gosselin
**
This books were alright. I watched "Jon and Kate Plus 8" many years ago, and since I love reading, was obviously interested in the book. Both of these books tell about the in's and out's of family life for these folks, at different times. The first discusses how the parents met and what their early marriage was like, their infertility struggles, and how they leaned on God in that time, the birth of their twins, and Mom's longing for "just one more," and how when the ultrasound tech counted SEVEN babies in Kate's womb - they trusted that it was God's plan and decided that life was too sacred to destroy any of them. The second book tells about later parts of their story, how being in the media affected their life, how life was changing with 10- and 12-year-olds, how their family dealt with the divorce. These books weren't spectacular, but not bad, either.


What You Have Left, Will Allison
***
This novel was about a family: Cal; his daughter Maddy, Maddy's husband Wiley, their daughter Holly; Holly's husband Lyle, and their baby. When Holly was young, her mother (Maddy) died. Wiley brought Holly to stay with Cal for a week or so - and Holly never saw Wiley again. This book is a kind of crazy tale, told in modern time and flashbacks, that describes the rocky road of family relationships. It was really real, true to life. I probably wouldn't read it again, but I don't think it was a waste of time. If you like fiction, it's a good read (I'm not a huge fiction person).


Belly Laughs, Jenny McCarthy
**
When I picked this book up for about a quarter at my local library, my mom told me it was terrible. She was right. Yes, it was funny, but incredibly boring. The chapters were so short and the topic changed so frequently, it gave me whiplash.


To Train Up a Child , Michael & Debi Pearl
(no stars)
THIS BOOK WAS TERRIBLE. I read it to broaden my horizons, expose my self to other points of view and examine them for clarity. And my decision: these views are bad. Bad. I think, the Pearls had some good ideas, some good reasons; they saw a problem with the way people around them were parenting. But their solution was not a good one. "Training" is basically classical conditioning - treating your children like Pavlov's dogs. You condition them to associate negative behavior with pain ("just a swat on the hand," which is "not spanking"), and to obey every word you say without question. When they aren't obedient, apply the rod - bad behavior leads to a guilty conscience, use punishment to absolve guilt, because they are too young to understand that Christ suffered to rid us of guilt. Basically, when your kids are little, they get the punishment for sin even though Christ already got it for them. You are to act as God, punishing their sin.
Excuse me? 1) My kids are not dogs, they're people. People with hearts and brains and feelings - just like me. They need respect as much as I do. It's my job to teach them how to cope with all these big feelings - sometimes sadness and anger that feel bigger than their little bodies - not to spank the emotions out of them. I'm allowed to have a good cry and it's not called "bad behavior" - so are they. 2) I don't want my kids to do without question whatever authority tells them. I want my kids to learn reason and ask questions and evaluate authority and commands before blindly obeying. They're born with brains - let them use it! 3) My kids don't need to be spanked. Our 7-year-old and my 5- and 6-years-old Primary class understand that Jesus died so that we can be forgiven. They get it.

"Little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin . . . little children need no repentance, neither baptism. Behold, baptism is unto repentance to the fulfilling the commandments unto the remission of sins.  12 But little children are alive in Christ, even from the foundation of the world . . . all children are alike unto me; wherefore, I love little children with a perfect love; and they are all alike and partakers of salvation. . . . For I know that God is not a partial God, neither a changeable being; but he is unchangeable from all eternity to all eternity. Little children cannot repent; wherefore, it is awful wickedness to deny the pure mercies of God unto them, for they are all alive in him because of his mercy. And he that saith that little children need baptism denieth the mercies of Christ, and setteth at naught the atonement of him and the power of his redemption."

(Moroni 8:8, 11-12, 17-20)

Reader Report Catch-up

I've been reading a lot of books lately, most of them I've sped through in one day. Here's a brief review of what I've been reading.

Faith: The Essence of True Religion, Gordon B. Hinckley
I absolutely loved this book. President Hinckley has always been my favorite latter-day prophet, even before I'd ever read a single word he said. I'm not sure why, but I've always loved him, and knew that he was a prophet before I had a testimony of the callings of our current leaders. Anyway, this is the second of Pres Hinckley's books that I've read, and I really loved this one. This book was compiled of General Conference talks and other Ensign articles by Pres Hinckley, making it kind of like a "Teachings of the Presidents" book - no wonder I loved it! - with chapters on a many different subjects. Books by the prophets are always good, so of course I'd recommend this one.

Heaven: The Heart's Deepest Longing, Peter Kreeft
This book quickly became one of my favorites, up there with Carry on, Warrior. Kreeft is a philosophy professor, and a member of the Catholic Church. This book examined both from a philosophical and religious standpoint or yearning for heaven, and what it might be like. His conclusion? Joy. Kreeft is a fantastic thinker, and he really knows the Bible. Every page blew my mind and changed my life. Everyone yearns for something, and this book discovers what that longing is for.

"Who ever put such a thought into our heads? . . . Who whispered in our ear the desire for heaven? And when? And even more mysterious, why do we understand it? We recognize it, that is, we re-cognize it; we cognize it again; we remember it. When did we first learn it? And when and how did we forget it?" (p 55).

My Heart is an Autumn Garage, Anne Thériault
I've been reading Anne's blog, The Belle Jar, for many years now. I was ecstatic to finally read her book. Anne is a great writer, she molds words into paintings and draws you into whatever world she's creating. She's fantastic. So her book, of course, was magic. This is a memoir of depression. Thus, it's kind of sad. But not the kind of sad that makes you want to cry, because this book makes you turn the pages too quickly to cry. As someone who also suffers from depression, I related so much to many things in this book. If you know someone who suffers from depression - read this book for a peek into their mind and life. A lot of people don't get it, but this book can help you understand a little bit.
(If you suffer from depression, I personally suggest reading it during a period when you're in "remission." It could be a difficult read, so be prepared.)

More Than the Tattooed Mormon, Al Carraway
I think every convert, if not every Mormon, is in love with Al, who joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints when she was 21. Her story is incredible and her testimony is vibrant. This book is kind of her story, kind of your story, but it's mostly about God. She doesn't talk so much about what she experienced or did, but what God did in her and through her - and what God can do in you. So, so inspirational. Perfect pick-me-up on a rainy day. If you ever forget that God loves you, just ask Al.

Reader Report: A Simple Path

Title:
Mother Teresa: A Simple Path

Editor:
Lucinda Vardey

Publishing Info:
Ballantine Books, 1995

~ ~ ~

I bought this book for about 50 cents earlier this year. And oh, man, was it good. I finished it in only two or three days. So good, so good. The wisdom of this woman is amazing. It is so evident that she spends much time in prayer and tries very hard to know what God wants her to do. This woman takes seriously the counsel given in Matthew 25: "For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visitedme: I was in prison, and ye came unto me." She truly sees the face of Christ in ever person she serves.

This book explains what Mother Teresa calls her "simple path." Throughout the book, this path is taught, as its name implies, quite simply and beautiful. Though we sometimes forget, the gospel path really is "so simple a child can grasp it" (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "It Works Wonderfully!"). MOther Teresa reminds us of this through her simple teaching. The path is, as follows:

The fruit of silence is prayer.

The fruit of prayer is faith.

The fruit of faith is love.

The fruit of love is service. 

The fruit of service is peace.

~ ~ ~

And, of course, a few lines from the book that I just fell in love with.

Prayer

• "It is in the silence of the heart that God speaks. . . . We need to listen to God because it's not what we say but what He says to us and through us that matters. Prayer feeds the soul" (p 7).
• "We've been made for God and our hearts are restless until we rest with HIm" (p 9). 
• "Without [prayer] . . . we won't reach the fulfillment of our being" (p 10). 

Faith

• "God created us to love and be loved . . . Any negligence in loving can lead someone to say Yes to evil . . . If someone chooses evil, then an obstacle is set up between that person and God, and the burdened person cannot see God clearly at all. That's why we have to avoid any kind of temptation that will destroy us" (p 51). 

Love

• "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. . . . The only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. . . . There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God" (p 79).
• "As we remember and notice His love for us, we just begin to fall in love with Him because He is so busy with us - you just can't resist Him. I believe there's no such thing as luck in life, it's God's love, it's His" (p 80).
• "Everyone needs love. All must know that they're wanted and that they are important to God" (p 81). 
• "Even in the midst of pain and suffering, God loves [you]" (p 89).
• "Their [the sisters] happiest time is when they pray - they look forward to it, they are eager to pray and to refuel and they are equally eager to come out of that refueling and give away the energy they receive" (p 106). What would our world be like if we all had this attitude?

Service

• "Prayer in action is love, and love in action is service. . . . The point is to do something, however small, and show you care through your actions by giving your time. . . . Do not worry about why problems exist in the world - just respond to people's needs" (p 114). 
• "This is the future - this is God's wish for us - to serve through love in action, and to be inspired by the Holy Spirit to act when called" (p 137).

Peace

• "Knowing our strengths and weaknesses, we turn to the Lord. . . . He has the remedy for everything. . . . If we just turn to Him, He will bring us this inner healing, this spiritual healing so we can make our lives more holy and more pleasing to God" (p 172).
• "We are all meant to return to God - we come from Him and we go back to Him" (p 175). 
• "We are born to be happy - and we can only find true happiness and peace when we are in love with God: there is joy in loving God, great happiness in loving Him" (p 179). 

~ ~ ~

"Christ's love is always stronger than the evil in the world."

"God's love for us is greater than all the conflicts, which will pass."

"We're not always called to be successful but we're always called to be faithful."

*Ending quotes: p 52, p 60, p 153

Reader Report: Heaven is for Real

Title:
Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy's Astounding Story of His Trip to Heaven and Back

"Heaven Is for Real is the true story of the four-year old son of a small town Nebraska pastor who during emergency surgery slips from consciousness and enters heaven. He survives and begins talking about being able to look down and see the doctor operating and his dad praying in the waiting room. The family didn't know what to believe but soon the evidence was clear.

Colton said he met his miscarried sister whom no one had told him about, and his great grandfather who died 30 years before Colton was born, then shared impossible-to-know details about each. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride, about how "reaaally big" God and his chair are, and how the Holy Spirit "shoots down power" from heaven to help us.

Told by the father but often in Colton's own words, the disarmingly simple message is heaven is a real place, Jesus really loves children, and be ready there is a coming last battle."

Author:
Todd Burpo, with Lynn Vincent

Publishing Info:
Thomas Nelson, 2010

~ ~ ~

When Heaven is for Real the movie was released a few years back, it caught the attention of my grandmother, who read the book and rented the movie. Not being a big reader back then, I didn't read the book, but we did watch the movie. And I thought it was mediocre (I guess I wasn't thinking about the part where this was an actual kid telling about his actual experience, but that's beside the point). 

Flash forward to this summer, when I started reading like crazy again. I've always loved books themselves (even when I wasn't particularly interested in reading them), so combine that with my renewed interest in reading, and the public library's bargain resale shelf - I bought over ten books thi summer. I found Heaven is for Real for 50 cents, and being a bargains shopper and book lover, I had to buy it, and figured I'd read it sometime.

Well, I finally got around to it. And, I still didn't find the story particularly engaging or interesting. I don't know (nor would I like to get involved with debates concerning) whether or not the Burpo's story is true,  whether is was a drug-induced vision, whether the parents embellished, or whether such heavenly trips are even possible for children (we know of a few prophets who have seen heaven, as relayed in scripture - Daniel, John the Revelator, Nephi). That's not my interest.

The main thing that struck me was how sick Colton actually was. That either wasn't emphasized or didn't stick out to me in the movie. Colton was so sick for five days, and on the brink of death for some of those, before the doctors correctly diagnosed him as experiencing a burst appendix. In the book, Todd says the nurses at the hospital were told by the doctor not to give the family hope - that they were operating on Colton, but his death was positively immanent. And he recovered so miraculously, through the prayers of his community. That, to me, was amazing.

Since the story wasn't to compelling, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite quotes:

• "I thought of the times where the scripture says that God answered the prayers, not of the sick or dying, but of the friends of the sick and dying - the paralytic, for example. It was when Jesus saw the faith of the man's friends that He told the paralytic, 'Get up, take your mat and go home.' [Matt 9:6] A that moment, I needed to borrow the strength and faith of some other believers" (p41-42). That's something I've had to be humble enough to do recently. Kind of reminds me of this from Elder Jeffery R. Holland: "If your faith is a little tested in this or any season, I invite you to lean on mine. I know this work is God’s very truth . . . Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe" ("Lord, I Believe," April 2013; emphasis added).
• "God knows where He puts our children, in each family . . . God can reach anyone, anywhere, at any age" (p 143).

These two quotes tell me 1) God hears our prayers, and the prayers we pray for those we love; and 2) God knows our families, and He put us together. 

"Well, Jesus told me He died on the cross so we could go see His Dad."

(p 111)

Reader Report: Carry on, Warrior

Title:
Carry on, Warrior

Author:
Glennon Doyle Melton

Publishing Info:
Scribner, 2013

I fell in love with Glennon a few years ago, when I saw her TED talk. So raw, so real, so exactly where I was in my life. And so hopeful. I began following her blog, and, when the book came out, of course I read it right away.

That was a few years back, before I had this blog. Since I just reread the book, love it so much, wanted to tell you guys about it, and haven't been writing often, I decided to write a post about it!

After the scriptures, this book is my favorite book. It's written as a collection of essays, which is really my favorite way to read. Glennon tells us about the "God-shaped hole" in all of us; how she tried to fill it with things that left her feeling emptier; how she gave that all up when she held a pregnancy test in her hand as a young, unwed mother suffering from bulimia, alcoholism, and substance abuse; and how the grace of God pulls her through every day - with many humorous anecdotes sprinkled in there, because Glennon's hilarious. 

Glennon is SO relatable. The reason she gives is this: She believes we all have a piece of God inside us. When she talks about her deep insides, and not just the shells we cover ourselves with, she's talking out of her "God-piece," so to speak. And since all of us are made up of the same amount of God, when she speaks from that part of her, that part of us hears it because it's the same stuff - it's the same divine nature in her and in me and in you. When we tell our truth, we connect. 

I don't know how Glennon came to faith (she doesn't really tell us about that), but I love how she looks at her faith now. She loves God just about more than anyone I know. She loves God fiercely, and since each one of us is made up of the same amount of God, she thinks that means she should love everyone fiercely, so she tries very hard to do that. Glennon believes in love, forgiveness, redemption - because she's sat at God's feet and received all that, and now she tries to give it all away to others. She knows that we're all lost and sad here. She says, "Life isn't hard because you are doing it wrong. Life is just hard."

Glennon used to think that something was wrong with her and that she had to hide. Now, Glennon knows that God made her and loves her, so she can stand on the rooftops and sing, because it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks - God already loves her big big. She knows that she did not come to this earth to find her worth but that she brought it with her. She knows about her divine nature. 

Glennon knows that she's not perfect. She knows that everyone else is not perfect either. So she forgives - forgives herself, forgives others, forgives a lot. Again, she knows that she's loved either way.

And my favorite - Glennon says life is "brutiful" - a combination of beautiful and brutal. Because it's true. It is. Life is brutal, but life is also beautiful. Both/And. Kind of reminds me of Nephi: "It must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one" (2 Nephi 2:11).

If you want to laugh, if you want to cry, if you want to know that God loves you, if you want to find hope, if you want to sit down with a girlfriend and say "You know, life's really stinkin' hard," if you want to see the sun shining through another daughter - go to the library and check out Glennon's book. You won't regret it. 

Reader Report: Standing for Something

Title:
Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes

Author:
Gordon B. Hinckley

Publishing Info:

~ ~ ~

Honestly, I didn't love this book. It was written much likea General Conference talk, but nearly 300 pages. Long talk, right? President Hinckley said amazing inspirational things, it was just long for something with a short attention span like me.

Instead of doing a summary/thoughts/quotes report like I usually do, I'm going to talk about my life and how this book fit into it. 

To start off, the layout of this book is simple: our world is great but in trouble, here are individual virtues that can remedy our situation, and here are ways to safeguard and grow those virtues. The first nine virtues are: love, honesty, morality, civility, learning, forgiveness and mercy, thrift and industry, gratitude, and optimism. This book had some great sections and one-liners, but there are just too many to share with you guys (these reports have been pretty long and boring lately). 

Here's my experience with the book: I checked it out from my hometown library in May. I wanted to read books written by prophets and apostles, so I found the Religion/Christian section, then the Mormon shelf. This was the only written by a General Authority, and I'm glad it was Hinckley because he's my favorite (I can't wait for his Teachings of Presidents of the Church book to come out!) 

If you've read personal posts on here, you might know that I'm the only member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in my family, and that my parents aren't too happy with my decision. Well, since I've moved back home from my college town, I've been going to church happily, but alone. Last Sunday, my parents asked me to go to church with them. This was hard for me, because I really want to go to sacrament meeting (and I know that Heavenly Father wants me to, also), but I also wanted to strengthen my family relationships (because I know that families are important to Heavenly Father). I prayed about it a lot. A lot. 

On Thursday, I watched a video. I won't go into detail because it's not uplifting. Basically, it was an interview about faith. And though it was meant to strengthen faith, it made me question. I wondered if I'd made the right choice in being baptized. Then, I opened my journal. I saw the bright colors and bulletins from church. The Holy Ghost reminded me of what I'd learned in these meetings, what I'd taken notes on in my personal studies, and what I'd cried to God about in these pages. In my journals, I learn that God loves me. I know that He's here, I know that He's listening to us. 

That night, my missionary, Sister A called. I didn't answer so she left a message, telling me to call back because she had a favor to ask. Oh my, I thought. The next day, I called her back. She said she wanted me to skype in for a lesson with a girl in her area who wants to be baptized but is experiencing opposition from her family. She thought I could help. I was very hesitant, considering what I'd been thinking and feeling regarding my own faith, but I agreed. 

On Saturday, I asked my parents if we could talked about going to church on Sunday. We ended up talking for hours about my joining the church and how they thought I'd made a wrong choice. And it got to me. What if I had made a wrong choice? Do I even know what I believe? I had been so sure, but then I'm wasn't. What was I supposed to do? How do I know what's right? And Sister A wants me to help this young girl keep the faith. How can I help her when I can't even keep it myself?

Then I looked at my journal. "First and forever fan the flame of your faith, because all things are possible to them that believe" (Elder Jeffery R. Holland). Keep going, I thought. And then, "Rescued by the Gospel." I remembered where I was before I found this. I remembered that this gospel had in fact, rescued me. I didn't want to go back to that life without this. I may not be able to explain that, but I know it. I thought, The Book of Mormon is true, and I need it in my life.

Then I picked up my book to read. The next chapter, the tenth virtue, was entitled: "Faith: Our Only Hope." I thought, how perfect to read about faith from a prophet of God, when I have so little of it. He said faith is real and strong and powerful. He said that we have no greater motivation than the knowledge that we are children of the Almighty and that He will help us achieve. He said, "Vibrant testimony comes of anxious seeking" (p 110). He said, "I know that He is intensely interested in our lives, that I can speak with Him in prayer, and that He will hear and listen" (p 110). I thought, I need to know that. That I am loved and heard.

Before bed that night, I sat writing in my journal.

I know the gospel is true. I know the Plan of Salvation is true. I know that the Savior walked the lonely path so I don't have to. I know that His love and mercy are stronger than my weaknesses. I know that I belong in this Church. I know that this is where God wants me. I know that this is where I will find peace, hope, and guidance, in the Book of Mormon and this Church, I know that Heavenly Father "doesn't intend to save just a few of His children" (movie, The Restoration, Intellectual Reserve, 2006), and that He didn't drop us here to grope in darkness. I know that we have a prophet today, who teaches the whole world about God and Jesus Christ. I know that he stands at the head of this, Christ's Church, which contains the fulness of ordinances, and all truth pertinent to salvation. 

This book renewed my faith exactly when I needed it. I encourage you to record your testimony periodically, so that when you are in times of doubt, you can go back and look at what you said. It's one things to have someone else tell you they believe, it's another thing entirely to have yourself tell you that you believe.

Keep the faith, and carry on.

"I believe that God will always make a way, even when there appears to be no way."

Reader Report: Heaven is Here

Title:
Heaven is Here: An Incredible Story of Hope, Triumph, and Everyday Joy

Stephanie Nielson began sharing her life in 2005 on nieniedialogues.com, drawing readers in with her warmth and candor. She quickly attracted a loyal following that was captivated by the upbeat mother happily raising her young children, madly in love with her husband, Christian (Mr. Nielson to her readers), and filled with gratitude for her blessed life. However, everything changed in an instant on a sunny day in August 2008, when Stephanie and Christian were in a horrific plane crash. Christian was burned over 40 percent of his body, and Stephanie was on the brink of death, with burns over 80 percent of her body. She would remain in a coma for four months.In the aftermath of this harrowing tragedy, Stephanie maintained a stunning sense of humor, optimism, and resilience. She has since shared this strength of spirit with others through her blog, in magazine features, and on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Now, in this moving memoir, Stephanie tells the full, extraordinary story of her unlikely recovery and the incredible love behind it--from a riveting account of the crash to all that followed in its wake. With vivid detail, Stephanie recounts her emotional and physical journey, from her first painful days after awakening from the coma to the first time she saw her face in the mirror, the first kiss she shared with Christian after the accident, and the first time she talked to her children after their long separation. She also reflects back on life before the accident, to her happy childhood as one of nine siblings, her close-knit community and strong Mormon faith, and her fairy-tale love story, all of which became her foundation of strength as she rebuilt her life. What emerges from the wreckage of a tragic accident is a unique perspective on joy, beauty, and overcoming adversity that is as gripping as it is inspirational. Heaven Is Here is a poignant reminder of how faith and family, love and community can bolster us, sustain us, and quite literally, in some cases, save us.

Author:
Stephanie Nielson

Stephanie Nielson was born and raised in Provo, Utah. She is the author of nieniedialogues.com, a popular blog about her life as a wife, mother, and Mormon. Stephanie lives in Provo with her husband and children.

Publishing Info:
Hyperion, 2012.

~ ~ ~ 

"Let the light of your faith inspire other people. . . . Share your hope."

Stephanie Nielson, p 143

The title says this book is a story of hope, triumph, and joy. That is is.

Stephanie shows us triumph, by expressing in full detail the difficulty of her accident and early recovery. She reveals how emotionally taxing the accident was by painting a beautiful picture of her life before. 

Memories of childhood, and her dreams for a big family. Stories of how her older siblings played with her, and how much she enjoyed all eight of them. She tells of how her faith strengthened her as a child. She tells of meeting her husband, and how she knew right away that she would marry him. She tells stories of their newlywed years, and when they discovered they were having their first child. She tells about their family growing, and the joy of her husband fulfilling his dream in learning to fly a plane. She says her life was perfect. A stay-at-home mom with four kids at 27 years old, with a great husband.

I loved this part, because it seemed like I had all the same dreams she had - a loving husband, a house full of kids. 

Then the accident. There was a plane crash. Stephanie was agonizingly pained as flames engulfed her whole body. By the time she was rescued, burns covered 80 percent of her body. She didn't see her family for three months. And when she did, she realized how much they were doing for her, and she felt like a burden. She was in pain, she was helpless, she didn't look like herself.

Stephanie tells us the story of her recovery - how goals were to lift one arm, then both arms at the same time. Then touch her two index fingers to each other. Then standing, then walking. Using the bathroom by herself, feeding herself, buttoning a coat. Though she only started taking baby steps four months after the accident, she made a goal to hike up Y Mountain on the anniversary of the accident. And she did. She told of the transformation of her children - from the first visit when her daughters couldn't look at her and her son didn't remember her, to when he started crying for her at night and her daughters snuggled up next to her to read a story.


Here are some of my favorite parts:

• Once, while Stephanie was still in a coma, her condition took a terrible turn for the worse. Her mother took this as the doctors saying it was time for goodbyes. "My father asked Jesse to give me a priesthood blessing. The rest of the family bowed their heads and listened as Jesse put his hands on me. As he spoke, sure that my spirit could hear, he felt impressed to offer me a choice, essentially between heaven and earth. It was time to decide, he said, if I was going to go or stay. If I chose to stay in my body, he blessed me with a full recovery, a rich and happy life, and strength and patience as I healed. If I wanted to, though, he knew I could leave my mortal body behind. . . . As my mother told me about Jesse's blessing, a whisper of memory fluttered inside me. . . . I had made a choice. I was away from my body, in that beautiful place with Nana, and I was asked to choose. I could stay there if I wanted, and be released from my physical body, or I could go back to earth. . . . I was told that if I went back to Earth, my life would have meaning and purpose beyond what I could comprehend, but I was reminded again that it would be difficult. I asked what I could do to make it easier. Let the light of your faith inspire other people, I was told. Share your hope" (p 142-3).
• Shortly before the one-year anniversary of the accident, Stephanie and her husband had the chance to talk with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Stephanie remembers part of that interaction like this: "As we talked he told me to be proud of my scars. 'We look for Christ's scars because they are evidence of what He did for us. They'll be the first things He shows us when we see Him again. Your scars tell a story, too. Although they may not make you feel attractive, they are a witness of a miracle, that God blessed you to live, and that you have accomplished very difficult things'" (p 293). 

This book truly is a magnificent representation of the strength we can have with our Heavenly Father's help through any trial.

"My scars are a witness of a miracle."

Stephanie Nielson, p 294

Reader Report: Boy Meets Girl

Title:
Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship

"I wrote Boy Meets Girl the year after I was married. It was a great chance to answer many of the questions that were raised by my first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I know the last thing most singles want is more rules and, in Boy Meets Girl, I wanted to offer an alternative: an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse. In the book, I discuss how biblical courtship (a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating) worked for me and my wife Shannon, to give an encouraging and practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they're serious about. This updated version includes a new foreword, a new chapter, an all-new '8 Great Courtship Conversations' section, and some updated material throughout."

Author:
Joshua Harris

Joshua Harris is the author of six books, the most recent being Humble Orthodoxy: Holding the Truth High Without Putting People Down. Living what he calls a "backwards life" Josh became a best-selling author at age 21, the lead pastor of a mega-church at age 30 and only now, at age 40, is attending Regent College, a graduate school of theology, in Vancouver, BC. His passion is making biblical truth accessible to everyday people and helping others discover the security, identity and freedom of being rooted in God's love in Christ.  Josh and his wife Shannon have three children.

Publishing Info:
Multnomah Books, 2000

~ ~ ~

"Falling in love was God's idea. He was the one who made us capable of experiencing romantic feelings. He was the one who gave us the ability to appreciate beauty and experience attraction. And He was the one who invented marriage so the blazing fire of romantic love could become something even more beautiful--apulsing, red-hot ember of covenant love in marriage."

-Josh Harris, p 35

This book is in essence, a sequel to I Kissed Dating Goodbye. In that book, Josh urged readers to skip dating until they were ready for marriage. In Boy Meets Girl, Josh helps readers figure out how to move forward appropriately when one is ready for marriage. 

Josh begins by telling his story of how he met his wife, Shannon, and how he trusted God through the early stages of their relationship, and talking about why we need purposeful romance and more than just intense feelings and how God guides us in His timing. 

Josh stresses the importance of wisdom paired with romance. He compares romance to a kite, with wisdom being the string: "I suppose there are times when a kite feels tied down by the string. 'If this bothersome string would just let go of me, I could really fly high,' the kite might think. But that isn't true, is it? Without the string holding it in the face of the wind, the kite would quickly come crashing to the ground. In the same way, romance without wisdom will soon take a nosedive. . . . It's not enough to simply have romantic feelings. . . . Long-lasting romance needs practical, commonplace wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express our emotions and when to keep quiet. When to open our hearts and when to rein them in" (p 41).

"Romance says, ' This is what I want and it's good for me.' Wisdom leads us to consider what's best for the other person. . . . We glorify God in our relationships when we put our needs aside and base our decisions on what serves the interests of the other person" (p 44-45). Here are some questions we can ask ourselves to decide if we're guided by selfish or selfless desires (paraphrased, p 45). Is starting this relationship now what's best for him? Will I be a distraction for something God is calling him to do immediately? Will expressing all my feelings serve him, or distract and confuse him? Are my actions encouraging him to love God and seek His will more? Am I communicating clearly and in a way that benefits him? Does the way I dress encourage (key word - encourage) him to have a pure thought life? Will kissing now be what's best for us in the long run? Am I treating this person the way Christ would? "A selfless desire to do what's best for the other person can guide us in the big and small decisions of a relationship. It's not tedious. It's an expression of sincere love and the defining mark of a Christian relationship" (p 45).

Next, Josh moves on to talking about courtship - how to grow in friendship, guard each others hearts, tips on communication, embracing our gender differences in order to complement each other, reasons to get support from your community, and a great chapter on sexual purity during courtship. 

It can be hard to know how to act towards your boyfriend or girlfriend in the beginning of a courtship. You're "more than friends, less than lovers." You're getting to know each other more, but you're refraining from the traditional dating game. You have feelings for each other, but you don't want to awaken love prematurely (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4). Josh says: "Growing in friendship involves learning through conversation who you are as individuals. It's having fun together and spending quality and quantity time together. . . . Don't stress yourself out trying to orchestrate incredibly entertaining or romantic dates. Relax and enjoy each other's company. Look for activities and setting that allow you to spend time together and talk freely. . . . Look for ways to share the different parts of your life - the fun, the mundane, and the in-between. . . . How can you let each other see the 'real you'? Whatever it is you love, whatever it is that captures your imagination, invite the other person into it - and ask the other person to take you into his or her world, too" (p 79). 

It's important to have Christian fellowship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. In marriage, we are serving God together and helping each other move closer to God. In courtship, we should be starting that. Share your testimony with your partner and in groups, talk about your faith with your partner, pray for each other and with each other, talk about what God is teaching you right now, read Christian books together, talk about what you learned at church and how you're going to apply what you learned, read scriptures together (Josh and his wife read the book of Acts together during their courtship and emailed about what they'd learned). For Mormons, other activities can include sharing your favorite talks from General Authorities, attending family home evening together (in each other's homes or in a YSA group), attending Institute together, watching Youth Devotionals and General Conference together, attending missionary events and sharing the gospel together. There are so many ways to share your faith with your partner and encourage each other to grow. 

It is true that God made men and women different. Many people in the world see this as women being 'less than.' This is not true. "God made women totally equal to men in personhood, dignity, and worth. They are no less important or valuable to God. Within the context of their equality, God assigned men and women different roles. . . Men and women were created equal, yet different. And the fact that we're different is wonderful" (p 107). Matthew Henry said "Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him." (Sister Linda K. Burton gave a great talk about the complementing nature or males and females at the April 2015 General Conference - read it here. Also see The Family: A Proclamation to the World.)

Josh reminds us of the importance of community - receiving counsel from parents, church leaders, mentors, and friends. It's vital to balance personal thoughts and revelations with counsel from your community. They are able to look at your relationship objectively, while you may be missing some things because of your emotions. "While it's true that no one else should decide whom we marry, how arrogant it is to think that we can make this important decision on our own! And while a couple needs time alone, how shortsighted and foolish it is to cut ourselves off from the wisdom and support of the people who know us best" (p 125-6). 

Josh devotes a whole chapter to outlining why we should save physical intimacy for marriage. It's a beautiful chapter that reminds us that God didn't give this commandment to torture us, but because having these relations with one person is a joy. And when you save them for your wedding night, it is a special gift that you give to each other as a married couple, a new experience that separates your courtship from your married life. But, "there's another reason the struggle on waiting for marriage is a blessing. God not only wants to maximize a couple's enjoyment of sex in marriage, He also wants a couple to learn to trust Him together. When a Christian man and woman systematically deny their own physical desires as an expression of mutual faith and submission to Jesus Christ, they are laying a solid foundation for their marriage. They're learning to fight sin as a team. They're learning to care for each other, pray for each other, and challenge each other. In the most practical of ways, they are submitting to Jesus Christ as Lord of their relationship" (p 151). 

Finally, Josh devotes a chapter to addressing forgiveness for past sexual sins and how to deal with them in a relationship (though a lot of what he says applies to any sin, really). He ends with the final preparations before marriage, and tells us about his own wedding day. 

Included in this section is a list of questions to ask before you get engaged, which Josh adapted from an article, "Should We Get Married?' by David Powlinson and John Yenchko: Is your relationship centered on God and His glory? Are you growing in friendship, communication, fellowship, and romance? Are your parents and mentors supportive of your relationship? Is sexual involvement playing too big a part in your decision? Do you have a track record of solving problems in the way that scripture directs? Are you heading the same direction in life (can you cleave to each other)? Have you taken into account any cultural differences you have (hurdles that may have to be overcome because of familial, racial, historical, financial differences)? Do you want to marry this person? With all this intellectual and spiritual aspects to think about, it' s important to not overlook your heart. It should not be the deciding factor, but do you love this person and want to grow old with them? Have the courage to answer these questions about your relationship and decided what to do - whether is proposing or ending the relationship. 

Throughout the book, Josh tells us of his own courtship and engagement, and shares stories from other people he knows. These people come from many different circumstances - some lifelong Christians, some recently converted, some with Christian families, some being the only person in their family to value a God-honoring relationship, some save the first kiss for the altar, some choose to share this before marriage while still saving other things, some end in marriage, some end with the people realizing marriage should not happen. The variety of stories, I think, give a hope that these principles can work, wherever you are and in whatever circumstance. The point of this book is not to set rules, but to show people how to look to God in scripture and prayer to change your heart and define your own guidelines. 

One of the best parts of this book is the bonus at the end, the "Courtship Conversations." Each conversation includes a date idea, suggestions of things to discuss that go along with the activity, and questions to ask. Each date includes 15-20 questions (sometimes more), so you could actually use the conversation suggestions for many more dates or activities. I'll be buying the book just for those (not really, but almost).

Overall, I thought this was a great read. Josh made many great points about the attitude we should have during a relationship that's moving towards marriage. He discussed a lot how this time should be different from friendship, while also being different from marriage. There were many practical suggestions of ways to evaluate yourself and your relationship during this time, as well as to move forward. Like I said, I'm definitely buying this book. 

Reader Report: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Title:
I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Approach to Romance and Relationships

Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye.

Going out? Been dumped? Waiting for a call that doesn’t come? Have you tasted pain in dating, drifted through one romance or, possibly, several of them?

Ever wondered, Isn’t there a better way?

I Kissed Dating Goodbye shows what it means to entrust your love life to God. Joshua Harris shares his story of giving up dating and discovering that God has something even better—a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness.

Author:
Joshua Harris

Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.


Publishing Info:
Multnomah Books, 1997

~ ~ ~

"Some people who hear about my decision to not date till I'm ready for marriage assume that my heart must've been broken. No, my heart was made new by my Savior. The change in my attitude was the result of realizing the implications of belonging to Him. The Son of God died for me! He came to free me from the hopelessness of living for myself. That had to change everything--including my love life. Having a girlfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was. I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people--even if it meant kissing dating goodbye" (p 18). 

When Josh Harris says "Kiss dating goodbye," he doesn't mean never date. Josh says this mostly meaning, "I'm not going to date until God tells me it's time."  Josh says, "The main focus of this book is on enjoying singleness and waiting on romance til you're ready for marriage (p 187).  It's about watching God in your relationships, and entering into a dating relationship or "courtship" as he calls it, when God gives you the heads up. Its moving from friendship to dating prayerfully. "You and I will never experience God's best--in singleness or in marriage--until we give God our all. We've held on to old attitudes, foolishly clutching a lifestyle that the world tells us will bring fulfillment. God asks us to hand it all over to him" (p 55). 

Josh outlines the pitfalls of modern dating, and offers new ideas about romance. We often see good Christians in solid dating relationships get involved in sexual sin, but we often blame it on a lack of self-control. While self-control is important, Josh points out that, as with David and Bathsheba, the sin isn't one step but a series of missteps. The bible tells us to "Flee from sin" (1 Corinthians 6:18); He knows that we won't always have enough self-control, so we shouldn't play games with evil. He tells us to run away. "Dating in and of itself isn't the cause of the problems we see in relationships. Sinful and selfish people are the cause of sinful and selfish relationships--it's our own wrong attitudes and values that make for defective dating. But while dating isn't necessarily wrong, we've got to keep in mind that the system of dating as we know it grew out of a culture that celebrates self-centeredness and immorality. Just as a bar that sells alcohol doesn't force anyone to drink and isn't the cause of drunkenness, a bar is an establishment created so that people can have a place to get drink. You wouldn't say that getting rid of bars would end alcoholism or that everyone who visits a bar has a drinking problem, but neither would you encourage a friend who was trying to quit drinking to hang out in bars" (p 36). Now replace the bar with dating. Dating doesn't make us sin, but the environment it creates often is the perfect place for sin to creep up on us. The "seven habits of defective dating, Josh states, are: Dating tends to skip the friendship stage, dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love, dating tends to isolate a couple from other vital relationships (family and friends), dating can distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future (education, job, growing in godliness), dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness, dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating a person's character, and dating often becomes and end of itself (pp 38-46). We need something new. 

Josh stresses the importance of caring for and respecting others, as Christians. He reminds us that this applies to our dating relationships, too. We are to respect for the person we're dating and care for them. It's our responsibility to guard their purity, watch over their hearts, and love them as Christ loves them. Sometimes loving them as Christ loves them means not dating. "I've come to realize that while friendships with the opposite sex are great, I have no business asking for a girl's heart and exclusive affections if I'm not ready to consider marriage. until I can do that, I'd only be using that girl to meet my short-term needs, and not seeking to bless her for the long-term. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet! But I wouldn't truly be loving her and putting her interests first" (p 19). 

Many of us view "purity and impurity as separated by a fixed point. As long as [we don't] cross the line and go all the way, [we believe we are] still pure. True purity, however, is a direction, a persistent, determined pursuit of righteousness. This direction starts in the heart, and we express it in a lifestyle that flees opportunities for compromise" (p 88). The scriptures tell us to have a "pure heart." Jesus Christ said that "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Purity is a lot more than not having sex. It's about more than our bodies. It's about keeping our eyes pure from lust, our hearts pure from idolizing a boyfriend/girlfriend. Purity is always moving toward righteousness. When someone is really striving for purity, there's no question of "how far can we go."

In this book, Josh introduced a motto, something he calls the "little relationship principle" - "The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment." Josh specified that this applies to physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. When we are intimate without commitment, we risk hurt. Intimacy is only safe when coupled with commitment. With the commitment of friendship, we reach a certain level of intimacy. As friendship depends, we share more of ourselves with our friends. As we are purposefully entering a relationship to consider marriage, we share more of our hearts with the other person. There is a greater commitment. Only when we commit our entire selves and lives to each other can we become "one flesh" can we experience the true joy of intimacy that God has created for us to enjoy. God gives us many great gifts, and they are almost always coupled with guidelines to protect the sacredness of the gift. One example is intimacy. God wants us to be intimate with other people - our family and our spouse. To these people, we give parts of ourselves. When we are intimate with strangers, we give parts of our self away, and someone who is not committed to our well-being now holds a part of us, but since there is not commitment, the intimacy is not safe. We can lose that part of ourselves.

Josh claims that as we see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ and understand our responsibilities to care for each other, it will totally change how we date - so much that it might require a new name. He uses the term "courting." Courting is basically dating with a purpose, or purposeful romance. In courting there's no playing with hearts. The boy and the girl respect each other and the other person's future spouse. The aim, he says, is to be the kind of friend that your boyfriend's wife can say to you "Thank you for guarding my husband's heart and respecting him." There would be no regrets. He says that courtship is a commitment, a commitment to protecting each other's purity and hearts.

"The various ways in which God brings men and women together, like the unique designs of snowflakes, are never quite the same. But just as a one-of-a-kind snowflake can only form at a specific temperature and precipitation, a God-honoring romance can only form when we follow godly patterns and principles" (p 187). The goal of courtship is to evaluate the other person's character and prayerfully determine if it is God's will for you to marry. With courtship, there's no recreational dating. Intimacy has purpose, and it is carefully guided by other Christian mentors and by prayer. Courting only happens when both parties are ready to enter the lifelong commitment of marriage - spiritually ready, emotionally ready, financially ready. Marriage is a big commitment. It requires serious contemplation. With courtship, the purpose is to consider marriage, and both parties are aware of this from the start. Again, courtship is a commitment to respect each other's hearts and purity.

Josh is careful to remind us that is courting is just a set of rules to us, it becomes just as harmful as modern recreational dating. In order for courting to be different, our hearts have to change. And, a person can alter their dating methods to look like what Josh calls courting, but still call it dating. "Courting" or "dating" is just a name.


Some other great ideas presented in this book:

• "True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid"  (p 20). 
• Sometimes, we feel lonely. Whether it's because we're not dating, or we feel estranged from family or friends. whatever the case, loneliness hits us all at one time or another "A girl in her midtwenties who recently married told me that she saw lonliness as God's call to her heart. 'When I felt lonely, I would think, God is calling me back to Him,' she told me. During these times she learned to pour her heart out to God and talk with Him. Now she wouldn't trade those intimate moments with God for the world" (p 149). 
• Repeat: marriage is a big commitment. Marriage is one of the most important things to God. "Marriage is the first institution (Genesis 2:22-24). It was ordained before family, before civil government--even before the church" (p168). As Latter-Day Saints, we know marriage to be of utmost importance. We affirm that the family is central to God's plan for us on earth, and that family can only come about when a man and woman are married (preferably for time and all eternity). The dating principles Josh goes through in this book are important to all Christians, but our dating practices should be noted especially by Latter-Day Saints because we put a much higher value on marriage than many other denominations. God does not intend for us to take this covenant lightly. It is the highest covenant. It is what will bring us into the celestial kingdom, to live with Him forever. (Read about the LDS view of marriage here). 

This book presented many great ideas about the pitfalls of the way we date today, and some possible solutions. it was a great read, and I do think I will be applying some of the things he said to my own relationships. 

Reader Report: Aloha!

Title:

Aloha!

With the ringing Hawaiian greeting of "Aloha!" Chieko N. Okazaki welcomes us into a garden of goodness where the gospel has the zing of zest and ginger. . . . Sister Okazaki shares insights from the scriptures that are personal and practical. Christ is not just the way, the truth, and the life, she reminds us. He wants to be our way, our truth, and our life. The Christian way is not dramatic, flashy, or taxing. It is do-able, satisfying, and even fun.  

Author:

Chieko N. Okazaki

Chieko N. Okazaki describes herself as "a child of humble Japanese laborers on a plantation on the big island of Hawaii." Reared a Buddhist, she converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day-Saints at age fifteen, struggled to obtain an education, married Ed Okazaki (a Congregationalist who later joined the Church), bore two sons, and taught school in Hawaii, Utah, and Colorado before becoming an elementary school principal. Sister Okazaki became the first non-Caucasian to serve on any general board when she accepted a calling in 1961 to the YWMIA board. She was a member of the Primary general board when she was called as first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency in 1990. A woman of vision and a celebrator of women's achievements, Sister Okazaki sees Relief Society as a mighty sisterhood that can transform the lives of women. She believes passionately that strong individual women build strong partnerships in marriage, raise strong families, serve powerfully in the Church, and become "nursing mothers" to communities worldwide that need health, happiness, and holiness.

Publishing Info:

Deseret Book Company, 1995

~ ~ ~

Chieko N. Okazaki is, I think, my favorite general authority. I fell in love with her a few months ago when I read a blog series containing many excerpts from her books. Now that it's summer, I checked them out from my local library (and I can't wait to buy a copy for me to keep forever)! 

There were two main themes present throughout this book: have a personal relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father (developed by sincere, ongoing prayer), and serve others (sharing the love that comes from that relationship). 

Here are some of my favorite quotes/points/ideas (there's a lot, because Chieko knows what's up).

• Build a stronger family by building a stronger you (p 2).
• "There's not just one right way to be a Mormon woman" (p 5). I feel like a lot of times we get caught up in trying to be this ideal Mormon woman, when really there is no ideal. There's no one right way. We are all different, with different talents and abilities, different interests, and Heavenly Father has a different plan for each of us. The beauty of this Church isn't the fact that we all do the same thing in the same way - it's that we're all different but we can come together to make something bigger than ourselves. 
• "It is possible, even in less than ideal circumstances, to have a Christ-centered home. The process of building a Christ-centered home can begin with a single faithful individual" (p 5). 
• "We do not need to wait for ideal circumstances before Jesus can enter our lives" (pp 8-9). 
• "His task was not only to give life to the dead . . . but to give increased life to the living with less than flourishing faith" (p 10). 
• Know the Savior's love in all circumstances (p 14). 
• "He has promised that He will be our never-failing companion. We can trust that promise" (p 35).
• "The way of Christ takes us straight to other people" (p 36). 
• "For me, great strength comes every week as I partake of the sacrament and remind myself that I bear the name of Christ, that I have taken it upon myself like something tangible. Sometimes, when I am lonely and tired, I take the name of the Savior upon me like a warm blanket. I wrap myself in it the way my two-year-old grandson wraps himself in his cherished 'blankey,' and I feel warmed and comforted. If I am feeling vulnerable, sometimes I take the name of Christ upon me like armor, feeling it solid and bright and impregnable, so that no opposition can puncture it and so that no wound can devastate me. Sometimes I take the name of Christ upon me like Joseph's coat of many colors, a beautiful garment in which to dance and rejoice and praise the Lord" (pp 49-50).
• "Pious rules and observances [exist] for one reason: to help the people of Israel learn to love the Lord. They [can] do all of those things and never love the Lord or do all of those things instead of loving the Lord. Sometimes we fill our lives with pious rules and observances too, or let other people do it for us. We forget the Lord. We forget to love Him. We forget to feel in our hearts His love for us. And that's when our lives get out of balance" (p 76). 
• "Jesus always did the right thing because He carried in His heart the divine image of His Father in Heaven. He could not say or do things that did not fit that image. That's what we need, a divine image so clear and powerful that we can recognize it and tell if our actions are matching it" (pp 82-3).
• "We have taken upon ourselves that name of Jesus and the way of the disciple. Our way will also lead to gardens of anguished prayer, to crosses, to tombs. At those times, we, like the apostles, must endure in faith and love. We must endure despite our pain, with our pain, in the depths of our pain, until the moment of the resurrection in us when we understand the greater purpose in the cross and the tomb. I testify to you that those moments of understanding and acceptance will come" (p 101). 
• "When we see a true Christian in action, we see Christ in action" (p 115). 
• "God isn't in the business of making us believe Him. Faith cannot exist if there is no freedom to doubt. And freedom means that terrible mistakes will be made. I don't believe that faith means God will remove all tragedies from our path or solve all of our problems for us. I believe it means that He will be with us, suffering with us and grieving with us and working with us as we deal with our own tragedies and work our way through those problems" (p 119). ("How can I increase my faith?" - Click here). 
• "The image of the path is a useful one, because it teaches us that there is a way by which we may come to our Savior. But in another way it is misleading. Paths lead from one point to another. The image suggests that we are over here and the Savior is over there and that we must follow the path to reach Him. It implies that there is a distance between us and the Lord and that we must traverse that difference to find ourselves with Him. Yet, in reality, He is already with us "(p 128). 
• "I don't have to rely on my own goodness to be good. . . . I don't have to rely on my own capacity for love to be loving. I can rely on the Savior's love the fill my heart so completely that it will brim over and spill irresistibly into love for the people around me. I don't have to rely on my own patience, my own generosity, my own forgiveness, or my own steadfastness to be patient, generous, forgiving, or steadfast in righteousness. If I am willing to make room in my heart for the Savior, if I invite Him into my life, and if I fix my thoughts and desires and hopes on Him, then in some miraculous way I can think the thoughts of Jesus, I can feel the feeling of Jesus, and I can do the works of Jesus" (p 131). 
• "I'm never afraid of what I'll hear [when I pray] because I know it will come in the tones of love" (p 134). 
• "The concept of choosing happiness is powerful and empowering, because it acknowledges that we are created to experience a fulness of joy, that joy is inextricably involved with our use of agency, and that other things besides happiness will come to us" (p 169). 
• "We need to have an ongoing conversation with God that shares our whole hearts with Him. That means we need to be honest about what we love and what we don't, where we succeed and where we fail, what were feeling and what we're thinking. One of the most human things about us is the strength and power of our feelings -- and some of those feelings are very negative. We feel grief so intensely that we think our hearts will break. We are consumed by a rage so fiery that our whole worlds seems angry. We feel discouraged. We feel depressed. We aren't always honest, always kind, always faithful. We aren't uniformly cheerful, compassionate, and courageous. And usually it's during those moments that we choose not to pray, because we think that God doesn't want to see that part of us, respond to such turbulent emotions, or accept us in our negative moments. . . . The scriptures teach a far different message" (p 172). 
• "The promise of Joseph Smith to the Nauvoo Relief Society . . . was this: 'Angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.' Has this promise come true for you? Both Joseph Smith and Alma promised the ministration of angels to women. Yet such is the respect of our Heavenly Father for our agency that He will very rarely I've us something for which we have not asked. What would happen, do you think, if we prayed for revelation, for knowledge, for the comfort of the ministration of angels?" (p 177).
• "God's patience with us means that we have all the time we need, as long as we're trying. We can start over as many times as we need. Life isn't a race. God isn't waiting at some mythical finishing line, tapping His foot, glancing at His stopwatch, and muttering, 'Hey, get a move on, will you?' . . . In fact, He's far from waiting at the finish line, He's there, right beside us, encouraging us and sometimes even lifting us over the rough spots" (pp 204-05). 

This was a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it (as you can tell). I recommend it to anyone who is doubting their Heavenly Father's love, who thinks the Church has too many rules, who has set up themselves more rules than they can handle, anyone who feels they're beyond forgiveness, anyone who has forgotten the matchless power of our God's love. This is also great for converts (Chieko joined the Church when she was 15), for women (Chieko is also one of these), for mothers, for doubters, for those burdened with sin and shortcomings (I'm sure all of us fit into one of those categories). Really, read this book to be reminded of how much He loves you. 

"When we build for eternity, we need not make haste."

Aloha!, Chieko Okazaki, p 42