Building a Celestial Family: Part 4

Invite the Holy Ghost

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

One thing that's really great about commandments and counsel is that they are always accompanied by blessings. In this case, President Eyring testified that as we try to forgive, seek the hapiness of our family members, and be kind, we invite the Holy Ghost. That's beautiful! I'd like to break this promise into two parts and examine it a little more.

First, I'd like to talk about the actual blessing: the Holy Ghost will come into our families. That's pretty great. Don't we all want the Holy Ghost in our families and homes? The peace it brings, the understanding, the love? Our homes are to be a sacred and safe place. They can't be that unless we have the Holy Ghost in them. We need the Holy Ghost in our lives and in our homes. The Lord promises, through President Eyring, that He will send the Holy Ghost as we follow this counsel. If we knew that the Holy Ghost would come as a result our our forgiveness, our sacrifice, and our kind words, how much more eager would we be to do these things? Can we forgive more? Can we sacrifice for our family members? Can we be more kind in our speech? (Hint: Yes.) So let's make that a goal, me and you. To be more kind and forgiving. Today.

The other part: "As we try to do these things." The Lord doesn't expect perfection. And that is a beautiful thing. He's not saying, once you're perfectly forgiving, perfectly sacrificing, perfectly kind, then I'll send the Holy Ghost. No. He says, "Just try, and I'll send my Spirit to help you. Just try." When we try, when we put forth any effort into this, He send the Holy Ghost and multiplies what we can do. And isn't that great! We need the Holy Ghost to be perfectly forgiving. We try, and He helps. We try seek the happiness of our family members above our own, and He helps. We try to be kind, and He helps. He sends that Holy Ghost as we try to do these things. And, oh, it is wonderful.


So, as I finally conclude this series, I challenge you to try take President Eyring's counsel to heart. Try to be a little more forgiving, try to seek the happiness of your family members, try to speak kind words. And I, next to President Eyring, testify that the Holy Ghost will come into your heart and your home.



This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." Missed the beginning? Find them here: Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. 

Reader Report: Heaven is Here

Title:
Heaven is Here: An Incredible Story of Hope, Triumph, and Everyday Joy

Stephanie Nielson began sharing her life in 2005 on nieniedialogues.com, drawing readers in with her warmth and candor. She quickly attracted a loyal following that was captivated by the upbeat mother happily raising her young children, madly in love with her husband, Christian (Mr. Nielson to her readers), and filled with gratitude for her blessed life. However, everything changed in an instant on a sunny day in August 2008, when Stephanie and Christian were in a horrific plane crash. Christian was burned over 40 percent of his body, and Stephanie was on the brink of death, with burns over 80 percent of her body. She would remain in a coma for four months.In the aftermath of this harrowing tragedy, Stephanie maintained a stunning sense of humor, optimism, and resilience. She has since shared this strength of spirit with others through her blog, in magazine features, and on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Now, in this moving memoir, Stephanie tells the full, extraordinary story of her unlikely recovery and the incredible love behind it--from a riveting account of the crash to all that followed in its wake. With vivid detail, Stephanie recounts her emotional and physical journey, from her first painful days after awakening from the coma to the first time she saw her face in the mirror, the first kiss she shared with Christian after the accident, and the first time she talked to her children after their long separation. She also reflects back on life before the accident, to her happy childhood as one of nine siblings, her close-knit community and strong Mormon faith, and her fairy-tale love story, all of which became her foundation of strength as she rebuilt her life. What emerges from the wreckage of a tragic accident is a unique perspective on joy, beauty, and overcoming adversity that is as gripping as it is inspirational. Heaven Is Here is a poignant reminder of how faith and family, love and community can bolster us, sustain us, and quite literally, in some cases, save us.

Author:
Stephanie Nielson

Stephanie Nielson was born and raised in Provo, Utah. She is the author of nieniedialogues.com, a popular blog about her life as a wife, mother, and Mormon. Stephanie lives in Provo with her husband and children.

Publishing Info:
Hyperion, 2012.

~ ~ ~ 

"Let the light of your faith inspire other people. . . . Share your hope."

Stephanie Nielson, p 143

The title says this book is a story of hope, triumph, and joy. That is is.

Stephanie shows us triumph, by expressing in full detail the difficulty of her accident and early recovery. She reveals how emotionally taxing the accident was by painting a beautiful picture of her life before. 

Memories of childhood, and her dreams for a big family. Stories of how her older siblings played with her, and how much she enjoyed all eight of them. She tells of how her faith strengthened her as a child. She tells of meeting her husband, and how she knew right away that she would marry him. She tells stories of their newlywed years, and when they discovered they were having their first child. She tells about their family growing, and the joy of her husband fulfilling his dream in learning to fly a plane. She says her life was perfect. A stay-at-home mom with four kids at 27 years old, with a great husband.

I loved this part, because it seemed like I had all the same dreams she had - a loving husband, a house full of kids. 

Then the accident. There was a plane crash. Stephanie was agonizingly pained as flames engulfed her whole body. By the time she was rescued, burns covered 80 percent of her body. She didn't see her family for three months. And when she did, she realized how much they were doing for her, and she felt like a burden. She was in pain, she was helpless, she didn't look like herself.

Stephanie tells us the story of her recovery - how goals were to lift one arm, then both arms at the same time. Then touch her two index fingers to each other. Then standing, then walking. Using the bathroom by herself, feeding herself, buttoning a coat. Though she only started taking baby steps four months after the accident, she made a goal to hike up Y Mountain on the anniversary of the accident. And she did. She told of the transformation of her children - from the first visit when her daughters couldn't look at her and her son didn't remember her, to when he started crying for her at night and her daughters snuggled up next to her to read a story.


Here are some of my favorite parts:

• Once, while Stephanie was still in a coma, her condition took a terrible turn for the worse. Her mother took this as the doctors saying it was time for goodbyes. "My father asked Jesse to give me a priesthood blessing. The rest of the family bowed their heads and listened as Jesse put his hands on me. As he spoke, sure that my spirit could hear, he felt impressed to offer me a choice, essentially between heaven and earth. It was time to decide, he said, if I was going to go or stay. If I chose to stay in my body, he blessed me with a full recovery, a rich and happy life, and strength and patience as I healed. If I wanted to, though, he knew I could leave my mortal body behind. . . . As my mother told me about Jesse's blessing, a whisper of memory fluttered inside me. . . . I had made a choice. I was away from my body, in that beautiful place with Nana, and I was asked to choose. I could stay there if I wanted, and be released from my physical body, or I could go back to earth. . . . I was told that if I went back to Earth, my life would have meaning and purpose beyond what I could comprehend, but I was reminded again that it would be difficult. I asked what I could do to make it easier. Let the light of your faith inspire other people, I was told. Share your hope" (p 142-3).
• Shortly before the one-year anniversary of the accident, Stephanie and her husband had the chance to talk with Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Stephanie remembers part of that interaction like this: "As we talked he told me to be proud of my scars. 'We look for Christ's scars because they are evidence of what He did for us. They'll be the first things He shows us when we see Him again. Your scars tell a story, too. Although they may not make you feel attractive, they are a witness of a miracle, that God blessed you to live, and that you have accomplished very difficult things'" (p 293). 

This book truly is a magnificent representation of the strength we can have with our Heavenly Father's help through any trial.

"My scars are a witness of a miracle."

Stephanie Nielson, p 294

Building a Celestial Family: Part 1

Forgive quickly and fully. 

We owe our families the kind of relationship we can take into the presence of God. . . . We can determine to forgive quickly and fully. We can try to seek the happiness of others above our own. We can be kind in our speech. As we try to do all these things, we will invite the Holy Ghost into our families and into our lives.

Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency (source)

The guide to the scriptures says: "As people forgive each other, they treat one another with Christlike love and have no bad feelings toward those who have offended them." That's kind of big. The Gospel of Luke records Jesus as telling us, "If [a brother] trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him" (Luke 17:3-4). Jesus again commands us to forgive without end in Matthew: "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven" (Matt 18:21-22). 

The Savior said this to us again in our day through the Prophet Joseph Smith "And so on unto the second and third time; and as oft as thine enemy repenteth of the trespass wherewith he has trespassed against thee, thou shalt forgive him, until seventy times seven." (D&C 98:40). The Lord commands us that if someone continues to hurt us withour repenting, we are still to forgive him: " And if he do this [continue in wrongdoing without repentance], thou shalt forgive him with all thine heart; and if he do not this, I, the Lord, will avenge thee of thine enemy an hundred-fold" (D&C 98:45). The Savior asks us to forgive everyone, but He doesn't ask us to make them pay. Like every single commandment the Lord gives, this is for our benefit. Holding a grudge hurts. Living in anger is not fun. Scientific studies in recent years are showing that a lack or forgiveness on our part makes us unhealthy. The command to forgive those who persecute us is given for our benefit. The Lord tells us to forgive others because He knows we can't live the abundance that He desires for us when we carry all that hurt. The Lord assures us that when we forgive, this person isn't receiving a "get out of jail free" card: "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10).  He's allowing us to let go and move on, while assuring us that He will take care of the justice or mercy towards this person. Vengeance is not our job. However many times we say "I hate this person," it won't make up for the wrong. It won't give us any peace. The only peace comes from the Savior, when we know we are forgiven, and we forgive others. 

I worked a bible camp for kids this week. On Thursday, our Bible point or catch phrase for the day was "God has the power to forgive." The teachers told the kids that God has this power, and He shares it with us. God forgives us, and He gives us the power to turn around and forgive other people. That's true for little kids, for grown-ups, and for teens. He forgives all if we repent, and He gives us the power to forgive and let go of that hurt. 

It is important for us to forgive in our families. "Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness" (Bible Dictionary, "Temple"). Our homes are supposed to be as sacred and holy as the temple. That's pretty sacred and holy. Can we have that holiness, that presence of the Lord, when we are forgetting to ask forgiveness and give forgiveness? when we are holding grudging and getting even? No. Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Mercy is the essence of the gospel." Our homes should be places of mercy and forgiveness. If children don't experience forgiveness in their homes, how will they believe that our God is a god of forgiveness? (Nehemiah 9:17). We, especially those of us members living in nonmember homes are to be "an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity" (1 Tim 4:12). If the essence of the gospel is forgiveness, shouldn't we be abundantly splashing our families with forgiveness?

This post is part of a series entitled "Building a Celestial Family." You can find the rest here: Intro, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4.

Reader Report: I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Title:
I Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Approach to Romance and Relationships

Tired of the game? Kiss dating goodbye.

Going out? Been dumped? Waiting for a call that doesn’t come? Have you tasted pain in dating, drifted through one romance or, possibly, several of them?

Ever wondered, Isn’t there a better way?

I Kissed Dating Goodbye shows what it means to entrust your love life to God. Joshua Harris shares his story of giving up dating and discovering that God has something even better—a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness.

Author:
Joshua Harris

Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.


Publishing Info:
Multnomah Books, 1997

~ ~ ~

"Some people who hear about my decision to not date till I'm ready for marriage assume that my heart must've been broken. No, my heart was made new by my Savior. The change in my attitude was the result of realizing the implications of belonging to Him. The Son of God died for me! He came to free me from the hopelessness of living for myself. That had to change everything--including my love life. Having a girlfriend was no longer my greatest need. Knowing and obeying Him was. I wanted to please Him in my relationships even if it meant looking radical and foolish to other people--even if it meant kissing dating goodbye" (p 18). 

When Josh Harris says "Kiss dating goodbye," he doesn't mean never date. Josh says this mostly meaning, "I'm not going to date until God tells me it's time."  Josh says, "The main focus of this book is on enjoying singleness and waiting on romance til you're ready for marriage (p 187).  It's about watching God in your relationships, and entering into a dating relationship or "courtship" as he calls it, when God gives you the heads up. Its moving from friendship to dating prayerfully. "You and I will never experience God's best--in singleness or in marriage--until we give God our all. We've held on to old attitudes, foolishly clutching a lifestyle that the world tells us will bring fulfillment. God asks us to hand it all over to him" (p 55). 

Josh outlines the pitfalls of modern dating, and offers new ideas about romance. We often see good Christians in solid dating relationships get involved in sexual sin, but we often blame it on a lack of self-control. While self-control is important, Josh points out that, as with David and Bathsheba, the sin isn't one step but a series of missteps. The bible tells us to "Flee from sin" (1 Corinthians 6:18); He knows that we won't always have enough self-control, so we shouldn't play games with evil. He tells us to run away. "Dating in and of itself isn't the cause of the problems we see in relationships. Sinful and selfish people are the cause of sinful and selfish relationships--it's our own wrong attitudes and values that make for defective dating. But while dating isn't necessarily wrong, we've got to keep in mind that the system of dating as we know it grew out of a culture that celebrates self-centeredness and immorality. Just as a bar that sells alcohol doesn't force anyone to drink and isn't the cause of drunkenness, a bar is an establishment created so that people can have a place to get drink. You wouldn't say that getting rid of bars would end alcoholism or that everyone who visits a bar has a drinking problem, but neither would you encourage a friend who was trying to quit drinking to hang out in bars" (p 36). Now replace the bar with dating. Dating doesn't make us sin, but the environment it creates often is the perfect place for sin to creep up on us. The "seven habits of defective dating, Josh states, are: Dating tends to skip the friendship stage, dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love, dating tends to isolate a couple from other vital relationships (family and friends), dating can distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future (education, job, growing in godliness), dating can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness, dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating a person's character, and dating often becomes and end of itself (pp 38-46). We need something new. 

Josh stresses the importance of caring for and respecting others, as Christians. He reminds us that this applies to our dating relationships, too. We are to respect for the person we're dating and care for them. It's our responsibility to guard their purity, watch over their hearts, and love them as Christ loves them. Sometimes loving them as Christ loves them means not dating. "I've come to realize that while friendships with the opposite sex are great, I have no business asking for a girl's heart and exclusive affections if I'm not ready to consider marriage. until I can do that, I'd only be using that girl to meet my short-term needs, and not seeking to bless her for the long-term. Would I enjoy having a girlfriend right now? You bet! But I wouldn't truly be loving her and putting her interests first" (p 19). 

Many of us view "purity and impurity as separated by a fixed point. As long as [we don't] cross the line and go all the way, [we believe we are] still pure. True purity, however, is a direction, a persistent, determined pursuit of righteousness. This direction starts in the heart, and we express it in a lifestyle that flees opportunities for compromise" (p 88). The scriptures tell us to have a "pure heart." Jesus Christ said that "whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). Purity is a lot more than not having sex. It's about more than our bodies. It's about keeping our eyes pure from lust, our hearts pure from idolizing a boyfriend/girlfriend. Purity is always moving toward righteousness. When someone is really striving for purity, there's no question of "how far can we go."

In this book, Josh introduced a motto, something he calls the "little relationship principle" - "The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment." Josh specified that this applies to physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. When we are intimate without commitment, we risk hurt. Intimacy is only safe when coupled with commitment. With the commitment of friendship, we reach a certain level of intimacy. As friendship depends, we share more of ourselves with our friends. As we are purposefully entering a relationship to consider marriage, we share more of our hearts with the other person. There is a greater commitment. Only when we commit our entire selves and lives to each other can we become "one flesh" can we experience the true joy of intimacy that God has created for us to enjoy. God gives us many great gifts, and they are almost always coupled with guidelines to protect the sacredness of the gift. One example is intimacy. God wants us to be intimate with other people - our family and our spouse. To these people, we give parts of ourselves. When we are intimate with strangers, we give parts of our self away, and someone who is not committed to our well-being now holds a part of us, but since there is not commitment, the intimacy is not safe. We can lose that part of ourselves.

Josh claims that as we see each other as brothers and sisters in Christ and understand our responsibilities to care for each other, it will totally change how we date - so much that it might require a new name. He uses the term "courting." Courting is basically dating with a purpose, or purposeful romance. In courting there's no playing with hearts. The boy and the girl respect each other and the other person's future spouse. The aim, he says, is to be the kind of friend that your boyfriend's wife can say to you "Thank you for guarding my husband's heart and respecting him." There would be no regrets. He says that courtship is a commitment, a commitment to protecting each other's purity and hearts.

"The various ways in which God brings men and women together, like the unique designs of snowflakes, are never quite the same. But just as a one-of-a-kind snowflake can only form at a specific temperature and precipitation, a God-honoring romance can only form when we follow godly patterns and principles" (p 187). The goal of courtship is to evaluate the other person's character and prayerfully determine if it is God's will for you to marry. With courtship, there's no recreational dating. Intimacy has purpose, and it is carefully guided by other Christian mentors and by prayer. Courting only happens when both parties are ready to enter the lifelong commitment of marriage - spiritually ready, emotionally ready, financially ready. Marriage is a big commitment. It requires serious contemplation. With courtship, the purpose is to consider marriage, and both parties are aware of this from the start. Again, courtship is a commitment to respect each other's hearts and purity.

Josh is careful to remind us that is courting is just a set of rules to us, it becomes just as harmful as modern recreational dating. In order for courting to be different, our hearts have to change. And, a person can alter their dating methods to look like what Josh calls courting, but still call it dating. "Courting" or "dating" is just a name.


Some other great ideas presented in this book:

• "True love isn't just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid"  (p 20). 
• Sometimes, we feel lonely. Whether it's because we're not dating, or we feel estranged from family or friends. whatever the case, loneliness hits us all at one time or another "A girl in her midtwenties who recently married told me that she saw lonliness as God's call to her heart. 'When I felt lonely, I would think, God is calling me back to Him,' she told me. During these times she learned to pour her heart out to God and talk with Him. Now she wouldn't trade those intimate moments with God for the world" (p 149). 
• Repeat: marriage is a big commitment. Marriage is one of the most important things to God. "Marriage is the first institution (Genesis 2:22-24). It was ordained before family, before civil government--even before the church" (p168). As Latter-Day Saints, we know marriage to be of utmost importance. We affirm that the family is central to God's plan for us on earth, and that family can only come about when a man and woman are married (preferably for time and all eternity). The dating principles Josh goes through in this book are important to all Christians, but our dating practices should be noted especially by Latter-Day Saints because we put a much higher value on marriage than many other denominations. God does not intend for us to take this covenant lightly. It is the highest covenant. It is what will bring us into the celestial kingdom, to live with Him forever. (Read about the LDS view of marriage here). 

This book presented many great ideas about the pitfalls of the way we date today, and some possible solutions. it was a great read, and I do think I will be applying some of the things he said to my own relationships. 

Reader Report: Aloha!

Title:

Aloha!

With the ringing Hawaiian greeting of "Aloha!" Chieko N. Okazaki welcomes us into a garden of goodness where the gospel has the zing of zest and ginger. . . . Sister Okazaki shares insights from the scriptures that are personal and practical. Christ is not just the way, the truth, and the life, she reminds us. He wants to be our way, our truth, and our life. The Christian way is not dramatic, flashy, or taxing. It is do-able, satisfying, and even fun.  

Author:

Chieko N. Okazaki

Chieko N. Okazaki describes herself as "a child of humble Japanese laborers on a plantation on the big island of Hawaii." Reared a Buddhist, she converted to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day-Saints at age fifteen, struggled to obtain an education, married Ed Okazaki (a Congregationalist who later joined the Church), bore two sons, and taught school in Hawaii, Utah, and Colorado before becoming an elementary school principal. Sister Okazaki became the first non-Caucasian to serve on any general board when she accepted a calling in 1961 to the YWMIA board. She was a member of the Primary general board when she was called as first counselor in the Relief Society general presidency in 1990. A woman of vision and a celebrator of women's achievements, Sister Okazaki sees Relief Society as a mighty sisterhood that can transform the lives of women. She believes passionately that strong individual women build strong partnerships in marriage, raise strong families, serve powerfully in the Church, and become "nursing mothers" to communities worldwide that need health, happiness, and holiness.

Publishing Info:

Deseret Book Company, 1995

~ ~ ~

Chieko N. Okazaki is, I think, my favorite general authority. I fell in love with her a few months ago when I read a blog series containing many excerpts from her books. Now that it's summer, I checked them out from my local library (and I can't wait to buy a copy for me to keep forever)! 

There were two main themes present throughout this book: have a personal relationship with the Savior and Heavenly Father (developed by sincere, ongoing prayer), and serve others (sharing the love that comes from that relationship). 

Here are some of my favorite quotes/points/ideas (there's a lot, because Chieko knows what's up).

• Build a stronger family by building a stronger you (p 2).
• "There's not just one right way to be a Mormon woman" (p 5). I feel like a lot of times we get caught up in trying to be this ideal Mormon woman, when really there is no ideal. There's no one right way. We are all different, with different talents and abilities, different interests, and Heavenly Father has a different plan for each of us. The beauty of this Church isn't the fact that we all do the same thing in the same way - it's that we're all different but we can come together to make something bigger than ourselves. 
• "It is possible, even in less than ideal circumstances, to have a Christ-centered home. The process of building a Christ-centered home can begin with a single faithful individual" (p 5). 
• "We do not need to wait for ideal circumstances before Jesus can enter our lives" (pp 8-9). 
• "His task was not only to give life to the dead . . . but to give increased life to the living with less than flourishing faith" (p 10). 
• Know the Savior's love in all circumstances (p 14). 
• "He has promised that He will be our never-failing companion. We can trust that promise" (p 35).
• "The way of Christ takes us straight to other people" (p 36). 
• "For me, great strength comes every week as I partake of the sacrament and remind myself that I bear the name of Christ, that I have taken it upon myself like something tangible. Sometimes, when I am lonely and tired, I take the name of the Savior upon me like a warm blanket. I wrap myself in it the way my two-year-old grandson wraps himself in his cherished 'blankey,' and I feel warmed and comforted. If I am feeling vulnerable, sometimes I take the name of Christ upon me like armor, feeling it solid and bright and impregnable, so that no opposition can puncture it and so that no wound can devastate me. Sometimes I take the name of Christ upon me like Joseph's coat of many colors, a beautiful garment in which to dance and rejoice and praise the Lord" (pp 49-50).
• "Pious rules and observances [exist] for one reason: to help the people of Israel learn to love the Lord. They [can] do all of those things and never love the Lord or do all of those things instead of loving the Lord. Sometimes we fill our lives with pious rules and observances too, or let other people do it for us. We forget the Lord. We forget to love Him. We forget to feel in our hearts His love for us. And that's when our lives get out of balance" (p 76). 
• "Jesus always did the right thing because He carried in His heart the divine image of His Father in Heaven. He could not say or do things that did not fit that image. That's what we need, a divine image so clear and powerful that we can recognize it and tell if our actions are matching it" (pp 82-3).
• "We have taken upon ourselves that name of Jesus and the way of the disciple. Our way will also lead to gardens of anguished prayer, to crosses, to tombs. At those times, we, like the apostles, must endure in faith and love. We must endure despite our pain, with our pain, in the depths of our pain, until the moment of the resurrection in us when we understand the greater purpose in the cross and the tomb. I testify to you that those moments of understanding and acceptance will come" (p 101). 
• "When we see a true Christian in action, we see Christ in action" (p 115). 
• "God isn't in the business of making us believe Him. Faith cannot exist if there is no freedom to doubt. And freedom means that terrible mistakes will be made. I don't believe that faith means God will remove all tragedies from our path or solve all of our problems for us. I believe it means that He will be with us, suffering with us and grieving with us and working with us as we deal with our own tragedies and work our way through those problems" (p 119). ("How can I increase my faith?" - Click here). 
• "The image of the path is a useful one, because it teaches us that there is a way by which we may come to our Savior. But in another way it is misleading. Paths lead from one point to another. The image suggests that we are over here and the Savior is over there and that we must follow the path to reach Him. It implies that there is a distance between us and the Lord and that we must traverse that difference to find ourselves with Him. Yet, in reality, He is already with us "(p 128). 
• "I don't have to rely on my own goodness to be good. . . . I don't have to rely on my own capacity for love to be loving. I can rely on the Savior's love the fill my heart so completely that it will brim over and spill irresistibly into love for the people around me. I don't have to rely on my own patience, my own generosity, my own forgiveness, or my own steadfastness to be patient, generous, forgiving, or steadfast in righteousness. If I am willing to make room in my heart for the Savior, if I invite Him into my life, and if I fix my thoughts and desires and hopes on Him, then in some miraculous way I can think the thoughts of Jesus, I can feel the feeling of Jesus, and I can do the works of Jesus" (p 131). 
• "I'm never afraid of what I'll hear [when I pray] because I know it will come in the tones of love" (p 134). 
• "The concept of choosing happiness is powerful and empowering, because it acknowledges that we are created to experience a fulness of joy, that joy is inextricably involved with our use of agency, and that other things besides happiness will come to us" (p 169). 
• "We need to have an ongoing conversation with God that shares our whole hearts with Him. That means we need to be honest about what we love and what we don't, where we succeed and where we fail, what were feeling and what we're thinking. One of the most human things about us is the strength and power of our feelings -- and some of those feelings are very negative. We feel grief so intensely that we think our hearts will break. We are consumed by a rage so fiery that our whole worlds seems angry. We feel discouraged. We feel depressed. We aren't always honest, always kind, always faithful. We aren't uniformly cheerful, compassionate, and courageous. And usually it's during those moments that we choose not to pray, because we think that God doesn't want to see that part of us, respond to such turbulent emotions, or accept us in our negative moments. . . . The scriptures teach a far different message" (p 172). 
• "The promise of Joseph Smith to the Nauvoo Relief Society . . . was this: 'Angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.' Has this promise come true for you? Both Joseph Smith and Alma promised the ministration of angels to women. Yet such is the respect of our Heavenly Father for our agency that He will very rarely I've us something for which we have not asked. What would happen, do you think, if we prayed for revelation, for knowledge, for the comfort of the ministration of angels?" (p 177).
• "God's patience with us means that we have all the time we need, as long as we're trying. We can start over as many times as we need. Life isn't a race. God isn't waiting at some mythical finishing line, tapping His foot, glancing at His stopwatch, and muttering, 'Hey, get a move on, will you?' . . . In fact, He's far from waiting at the finish line, He's there, right beside us, encouraging us and sometimes even lifting us over the rough spots" (pp 204-05). 

This was a great read. I thoroughly enjoyed it (as you can tell). I recommend it to anyone who is doubting their Heavenly Father's love, who thinks the Church has too many rules, who has set up themselves more rules than they can handle, anyone who feels they're beyond forgiveness, anyone who has forgotten the matchless power of our God's love. This is also great for converts (Chieko joined the Church when she was 15), for women (Chieko is also one of these), for mothers, for doubters, for those burdened with sin and shortcomings (I'm sure all of us fit into one of those categories). Really, read this book to be reminded of how much He loves you. 

"When we build for eternity, we need not make haste."

Aloha!, Chieko Okazaki, p 42

Reader Report: Undivided

Title
Undivided: A Muslim Daughter, Her Christian Mother, Their Path to Peace

"Although this is certainly a book for mothers and daughters struggling with interfaith tensions , it is equally meaningful for mothers and daughters who feel divided by tensions in general. An important work for parents whose adult children have left the family’s belief system, it will help those same children as they wrestle to better understand their parents.

Undivided offers an up close and personal look at the life of an Islamic convert—a young American woman—at a time when attitudes are mixed about Muslims (and Muslim women in particular), but interest in such women is high. For anyone troubled by the broader tensions between Islam and the West, this personal story distills this friction into the context of a family relationship—a journey all the more fascinating."

Author
Patricia Raybon & Alana Raybon

Publishing Info
W Publishing Group, an imprint of Thomas Nelson, 2015



I've decided to write a post on each book I read, for two reasons - 1) to keep track of what I've read, and 2) to share the good stuff with you guys! I read a good bit last summer, and am anticipating the same this year. Maybe I'll keep reading good stuff into the school year, we'll see what happens there.

While cleaning out my room to rearrange, I found a couple gift cards, one to BooksAMillion. I headed there while I was out yesterday, thinking I'd pick up some bookmarks because I'm running out for things like scriptures and other Church books. There's a book I read last summer that I absolutely loved and have been wanting to purchase since, so I decided to skim the store for it. While looking, I came across this - "Undivided," the devoted mother, the hijab-wearing young lady. The title intrigued me - the idea of faith dividing family. Many people think Mormons are as far from traditional Christians and Muslims are. Is their story like mine? Can I learn about my family relationships by reading their story?

I don't like to buy books I haven't read (what if I don't like it? what if I don't even finish it? then I wasted $20). I read the cover flaps, and then the introduction. I decided to read a couple pages and get a feel for the book. Next thing I knew, I had been reading for an hour. I decided to buy the book.

And I absolutely loved it. The strong faith of both women shone through in their writing. I realized earlier in the semester that angry fights wouldn't open my parents to my faith. I had to love and talk. That's what these ladies learned - listen, love, understand. I am grateful that our strife is not near as divisive as theirs and it seems that it won't be as long.

Both accounts taught me about faith. I related to Patricia's (mother) faith and hope in Christ. I related to Alana's struggle with the Trinity (the Trinity was a real struggle for me as a kid, too, one that was relieved when I heard about Joseph Smith's First Vision) and respect her acceptance of God as one. Alana's attempts to reconcile common beliefs or explain newfound convictions with her mother rang true to me - do I focus on what we agree about or explain my new beliefs? Planning to read the Old Testament once I find a study guide, Patricia's knowledge and quoting of this scripture has me so excited to get into this part of God's Word. Alana's beautiful Arabic phrases bring reverence into her story, and acceptance and understanding of Islam. This book has fed my curiosity of both the Old Testament and the Islamic faith, both of which I will be learning about more in the near future.

Good read, highly recommend.


(From Patrician and Alana Raybon: "19 Tips to Handle Hurt When a Child Converts" - tips for parents and children)