Christ the King Sunday: A Different Kind of King

One year ago, I was a new Methodist Sunday School teacher. I didn't know what I believed.

I began teaching the first Sunday in November, and our theme for the month was thankfulness. We celebrated All Saints Day with gratitude for saints and the church universal, Veterans Day with gratitude for veterans and God's protection, National Bible Week with gratitude for scripture, and ended the month with Christ the King Sunday before moving into Advent - a season of waiting for God in the form of a baby.

At this time, I really had no idea what I believed, especially about Jesus. I didn't even know if I believed in Jesus! But here I was, writing a lesson on Christ the King?

I decided to focus on the figure of Jesus Christ in the gospels and the way that this character is presented as a king utterly opposed to the kings of his day. Christ is King of the World, as Natalie Grant sings, but He is a different kind of King. Jesus is not greedy but generous, not violent and warring but gentle and kind, not a dictator but a servant. The people were expecting a king and they got something completely different.

Christ is in charge of this whole thing. I believe in the Christ principle - as the spirit or energy that animates and courses through the universe, in each of us. Some might call it the Light of Christ, the Inner Light, or the atman. But that principle, that true self, I believe, is pure, true, loving, and ruler of all. And I devote myself to the pursuit of this principle within myself by worship the anthropomorphic Jesus Christ, a character described in the New Testament, the Book of Mormon, and other texts.

Christ the King Sunday recognizes Christ as King and Ruler over all the earth. We recognize our submission and obedience to Christ. We rely on Christ and we remind ourselves that evil does not rule, but Christ does. Love does. Love is in charge. NO matter how dark it looks, Christ is in charge.

I focus my trust on King Jesus as a different kind of King. We have lots of thoughts about what kings are like. And Jesus, with all his power, is none of those. And I am so grateful and willing to submit my life to this gentle, generous, different kind of servant King. My Lord and my God!

Anna the Prophetess: Luke 2:21-38

Faith: Our Response

The way I understand God has changed the way I do some things. It's caused me to be more intentional about the things I do, rather than just going with the flow of what's popular or easy (and our culture does so much simply because it's "easy"). 

Here are some things that I’ve been interested in, gotten interested in, started considering, changed in my life, care about because of who God is, etc. These are things that might (hopefully!) start popping up on the blog. These are things that may seem trivial or unrelated, but are tied up with my experience and understanding of God. 

• Fair Trade - if every person on this planet is God (and the author of the Gospel according the Matthew assures us they are), then every person deserves to be treated with dignity. They deserve to work reasonable hours, receive reasonable pay, and be safe on the job. 
• Organic food - Eating organic, for me, is not about nutrition. Studies show that organic foods don’t really have more nutritional value than other farming methods. I choose organic when possible because of the way it cares for the land. We should all care better for the land. It’s our home. For folks claiming Abrahamic religions, God said a lot about how to treat the land in the Hebrew Bible! 
• Minimalism - As I grow deeper in my understanding of God, the more I realize that STUFF won’t make me happy. We don’t need more stuff! Our consumeristic and throw-away culture tries to convince us that we need the newest stuff all the time - whatever bought last week isn’t good anymore so we should throw it away and buy this new toy! So people work themselves ragged to afford the new, cool stuff that they “need” to have, but no one’s happy with that. My goal is to do more with less. To spend less time working for money to buy stuff. To make enough money to buy what I need, and spend the rest of my time actually enjoying life, rather than running on the treadmill to get more things. 
• Low Waste - This kind of goes along with the previous point. A consumeristic culture is a wasteful culture. Our culture encourages us to throw things away at the first sign of wear (or even before that!) and buy something new. We mistreat our planet by taking more resources than we need, mass producing goods in factories creating pollution and abusing workers, and then dumping those good in landfills to buy the next thing. It’s ridiculous! Lately, I’ve been trying to reduce waste where I can. And surprisingly, it’s been easier and more unintentional than I intended! I might say the Holy Spirit is leading and encouraging me in the work - showing me simple ways to reduce waste. Really, it’s easier than I thought, and I find myself transitioning to low-waste alternatives almost without thinking about it!
• Feminism - If we’re all one, then men and women are one. We’re the same. That’s about it. Sushi rolls, not gender roles.
• “Natural” movement - We are gods and goddesses, y’all. Kings and queens. We are existence itself, we have the breath of the Almighty in our lungs. We have evolved over millennia into one of the most complex creatures on our planet (the most complex? I'm not a scientist). However you swing it, we are divine. I think our bodies pretty much know how to operate. I won’t say we’re perfect, because things DO go wrong. But for the most part, I believe that our bodies know what they’re doing. When we’re ill, I believe the power of our bodies to heal themselves. When we’re giving birth, I believe the power of our bodies and our babies to know what to do. When our body does something without us thinking about it - like heart beating or hair growing or uterine lining building up and being shed - I think it’s probably a wise thing for our body to do and that maybe we should let it do its thing. I believe in the power of living things to feed and heal other living things. I try to eat food and use “medicine” that’s as close to being alive as I can get it - fresh fruits and veggies (grown locally is ideal!), meat and from local farms, teas and other herbal remedies for minor illness. 
• Social Justice - This one is so broad. Some of the above bulletpoints can be included in this one (fair trade, feminism), but I need to include it because it encompasses so much more. Racism, economic inequality, and more. Biblical religions should be fighting for social justice because the Hebrew Bible so clearly calls for it. And religions like Hinduism or other indigenous traditions call for social justice in their claim that every person is a manifestation of God. We are called, whoever you are, whatever you believe, to care for others. And that can't always happen individually. Greed and pride have woven a system in our society, a system that benefits some at the cost of others. In order for a truly just world, these systems have to be broken down. We can't fix the problem simply by handing out sandwiches on street corners (though that is GOOD work and it is a vital part of the solution) - sandwiches are not the whole solution. The whole solution calls for people to come together and fight systemic injustice and work for the establishment of a new system. 

There’s more for sure, but that’s what I can think of right now. God, y’all. God has changed me. Believing in God and surrendering to the idea that I’M NOT IN CONTROL has been life changing. Understanding that we are all one and trying to live in a way that honors that belief has been life changing. 

I’m young and I haven’t been been doing this faith thing for that long. I know I have SO MUCH to learn. I know I won’t know it all even before I die. And that’s become an okay thing for me. I’ve surrendered my need to understand it all. 

Instead, I trust. I trust that there is a Ground of all Being. I trust the Way. I trust that what has happened was meant to happen. I trust myself to know what to do. I trust others to do what they need to do. I trust the universe to cradle me or break me as fate would have it. I trust the earth to provide my needs. I trust my body to heal. I trust my mind to learn, grow, understand, feel. I trust Jesus. I trust salvation. I trust that there is a salve for our hurts. I trust that there is saving from calamity. I trust that I AM my brother and sister’s keeper, that I am God to them. I am responsible for comforting them. And I trust that the God who is within my brothers and sisters will be the God I need in times of trouble. We are One. 

We are One.

And that makes all the difference. 

Faith: Emmanuel, "God With Us"

“In the beginning there was existence alone - One only, without a second. He, the One, thought to himself: Let me be many, let me grow forth. Thus out of himself he projected the universe, and having projected out of himself he entered into every being. All that is has its self in him alone. Of all things, he is the subtle essence. He is the truth. He is the self.”

Chandogya Upanishad

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. . . . God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

Genesis 1:1, 27

Hinduism, one spiritual teacher said, “begin[s] by assuming that ultimately the cosmos is a unified whole in which absolute reality and the relative manifestations are profoundly connected” (Living Religions, 77). They call this Absolute Reality, as said earlier, Brahman. But this is not the end! These teachers believed that Brahman resided within themselves. This is called “atman.” It is similar to a soul or spirit in the Christian traditions, but not exactly the same. The Hindu text quoted above describes how Existence, the formless absolute, projected forth from itself all that exists. All that exists is Brahman. But Brahman is the totality of existence. Everything else does not have all of Brahman, all of existence, but instead is a piece of existence. But everything together compromises Existence, the Absolute. 

When I started questioning my atheism a couple of years ago, I began with yoga (Western yoga, involving positions of the body and breathing techniques). Often our instructor would say something reminding us of our shared breath. I breathe out, and my breath goes around the room and is taken in by my neighbor, by the plants in the room, by my other neighbor. When these beings breathe out, I take their breath into my lungs, into my bloodstream, and something that was once a part of them becomes a part of me. We are one.

We have all heard someone say, “You are what you eat.” We often say this as a metaphor, but it’s true. When a child is growing, the matter that grows them taller is matter that was once food. The things we eat are broken down and literally become the stuff we are made of. We are all connected. We are one. 

The Absolute Reality, God, Brahman, is present in all of these things - in my breath, in my food, in my bloodstream. My breath is God. My food is God. My body is God. And the person next to me is God, too. 

“Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’"

Matthew 25:37-40

When I realized that God is really all around me, I started to rethink my actions. If God is the ground beneath my feet, what does it mean when I throw trash in landfills? If God is a fly, what does it mean when I kill flies who bother me? If God is my sister, what does it mean when I use unkind words? If God is a slave working long hours for little money harvesting cocoa, what does it mean when I casually buy a chocolate bar at the checkout? If I am God, what does it mean when I do anything to harm myself, body or mind? What does it mean when I eat food that is harmful to my body? What does it mean when I dwell on negative thoughts about myself?

If God is a flower, what would it mean to keep more plants in my home and office? If God is a tree, would I think more before using extra paper? If God is a chicken who died to feed me, to give me life, would I think twice before just throwing leftovers in the trash? If God is a man out of work at the traffic light, would I do more than hurry past? If God is my brother, would I spend more time listening to his stories? 

And God is. God is all of those things.

I want my faith to be wide enough to encompass all of these things. I want my faith to touch the food I eat, the plants I keep, the paper is write on, my relationships, my time, my everything. 

Going back to surrender. Daily I remember that I am not in control. I surrender that false idea that I am in charge of my life. I surrender the idea that I am separate or less than. Drink in the truth that everything around me is magic. Everything is connected, and everything is One. That is God to me. 

This understanding has changed the way I do some things. It’s changed the way I see things. It’s caused me to rethink the obvious. It’s caused me to be careful about what I buy, what I throw out, what products I use. 

In the future, I might write about some of the things that have changed in me. I phrase that passively because this was not something I necessarily chose, a decision to make a lifestyle change. I had a realization about the Ground of all Being, I surrendered to that truth, and little by little, my priorities shifted. The things I wanted and cared about changed. 

This post is part of a three-part series. Come back next Sunday for the next post!

Faith: Big God

I once heard someone described as “deeply and widely religious.” I wondered if that described me. I still wonder if that describes me. I hope to be a person who has deep faith - not just faith that “believes” things, but an abiding faith that trusts in a Higher Power and lets that trust affect the rest of my life. And I also hope to be widely religious - I hope that I will not become so completely entrenched in one type of religious experience that I forget other ways to connect with the Divine. I also hope to be widely religious in that my faith paints a wide brushstroke across my life - not touching one day each week but smearing across and through every decision that I make. Not only what I wear, whether I drink coffee or alcohol, whether I swear, but every single decision I make. What kind of peanut butter I buy, what kinds of things I hang on the walls of my home, how I travel to work and school, how I spend my free time. I worship and believe in a god who is in and through and beneath all things, so it makes sense that every time I touch something, I’m touching God. And I care about how I treat my God. 

I have a fairly complicated faith, perhaps. I’m an eclectic mix of traditions. Sometimes I say I’m Mormon, sometimes Methodist. A little bit Buddhist, a little bit Hindu, and little bit Catholic. 

I’ve found something I love in every tradition I’ve studied. And I can’t see any good reason to not incorporate the truth I find into my personal credo. 

I’m not sure how to describe my view of God. 

Can anyone, though, really describe God?

In The Faith Club (https://www.thefaithclub.com) Priscilla Warner wrote about how she had a religion, Judaism, but no faith. She belonged to a people but didn’t believe in a god. In one of my favorite scenes in the book, she sits in an airplane taking off. She looks out the window and feels awe. The sky extends out beyond as far as she can see. The airplane glides and she remembers, or realizes, that she is at the mercy of someone else. She realizes that she is so small in this great big world and even greater, bigger universe. She is overcome with awe. She’s not scared or frightened by this realization. It takes a weight off, actually. She is not in charge of the world. She realizes that there are so many things in this world out of her control. And she realizes that she’s got to stop pretending like she’s in control of everything. She’s got to stop stressing about being the boss of everything. As she describes her thoughts to her friends later, she uses one word to describe how she felt: surrender. She said, “I think that’s faith.” Knowing that you’re not in control and surrendering to that truth. 

That is what faith is for me. Recognizing that I am NOT in control, and aligning my self with Whoever or Whatever is. Sometimes I call this God, sometimes fate, sometimes tao, sometimes (if I want to be real personal with this force) Jesus. 

The name Jesus is the Latin variant of a Hebrew Yeshua or Ya’hashua. We are more familiar with the Greek rendering of this name - “Joshua.” This Hebrew word translates to “salvation” (similar to how we name children Hope or Faith). 

The root of our English word salvation is “salve.” A salve is “an ointment used to promote healing of the skin or as a protection” or “something that is soothing or consoling for wound[s]” (https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/salve). This is what God is to me and does for me. God is a salve. When I am hurt, I turn to God. I turn to something that is bigger than myself. I turn to something that is unchangeable, something that cannot be hurt by anything I do, something that is eternal. Salvation. Jesus.

I also admire the Hindu concept of what “God” is, what the ground of being is. In the Hindu religion, adherents honor many deities. The greatest, or the One that lies beneath every other deity, “the breath behind all of existence," is called Brahman (“Living Religions,” Mary Pat Fisher, 83). This Absolute is formless and impersonal (it is not a personal being, it does not have personhood or a personality). The gods and goddesses worshipped in Hinduism are seen as manifestations of Brahman, as a window through which some of the light of the Absolute can be seen. Some Hindus will worship one deity with intense devotion, while others will honor several. 

Unitarian Universalism sometimes uses the couplet, “One Light; many windows.” This is meant to acknowledge the single Source of all faith and recognize the differences between traditions. I love this. I believe that everything Divine originates from the same source - Allah, Jesus, Saraswati, Ganesh, the Mother Goddess. I think that all these names and personalities are descriptions of what we have seen through the window. When the Light comes in through the window, when we experience the divine, we can’t experience and comprehend it all. If we could, then we’d be God. But we are not, each one of us, God. God is bigger than all of us. So, logically, no one person would be able to fully understand God. So we take these experiences and encounters and try to put them into words to share with others. We try to understand. And the result, I believe, is these varied portraits of the Absolute. We see different parts of God, and we express what we’ve seen in different ways. 

This post is part of a three-part series. Come back next Sunday for the next post!

Holy Week: Hosanna! Crucify Him!

I have not been so faithful about writing weekly during Lent. I had grand aspirations. My hope was to write the whole series before Lent began and schedule the posts to ensure this series actually got finished!! But, sadly that didn’t happen, and life did happen. So here we are, a series half finished and Lent on its way out. Oh well, I guess. 

But this week is a week commonly referred to by Christians as Holy Week. A specially sacred time set apart (holy) to remember the myths of our traditions and meditate on how they apply to our lives. 

Holy Week begins on Palm Sunday. 

For weeks we have reflected, fasted, prayed, served. We have slowed down, quieted down, made room. 

This week we remember deeply. 

We remember Passover, when God led the Israelites out of slavery and bondage in Egypt. 

Remember Jesus’ final Passover meal, when he remembered, celebrated, and taught his friends that God’s salvific and redemptive work did not end in Egypt. 

Remember the day Jesus was arrested as a rabble-rouser, as a troublemaker, as a threat to the state. Jesus’ followers claimed that he was the messiah, the king of the Jews, come with power and a sword to bring deliverance from the Romans! Passover had long been a remembrance of deliverance and a hope for deliverance. The Romans knew Passover was the ideal time for a reformer to rise up among huge crowds and excite them to rebellion against the authorities. Thus, they were on strict lookout. Jesus was a threat. The prefect Pontius Pilate dealt with political threats swiftly and without remorse. Jesus was no different. 

We remember the day that Jesus died for love, the day when the powers of greed, selfishness, and pride arrested this man of love. Remember the day when he did not back down from his message of redemption and radical acceptance. Even unto death, he did not forsake God’s love and truth. As he hung on the cross, his oppressors mocking, still he loved them. This image of God loved even unto death. 

We remember darkness. Remember sadness. Remember grief. Acknowledge the darkness, sadness, and grief in our lives and in our world. Acknowledge all the ways that we kill Christ over and over and over in our thoughts and in our words, in what we have done and in what we have failed to do. 

This week, we see darkness. We feel darkness. We remember darkness. We welcome darkness. Pain is not bad, and we will not run from it. 

~ ~ ~

On Sunday, Palm Sunday, we celebrated. We celebrated Jesus entering the holy city, the capitol, to the welcome of a king. We celebrated joyfully and welcomed Christ into our lives. 

Tomorrow, the crowd will shout, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” Historical accuracy aside, I am concerned with what we can learn from this story, what this story teaches us about who we are. 

This story speaks to the ever-changing nature of humanity. We shout loud hosannas one day, only to crucify God the next. 

We march for justice one day, only to go home and yell at our children. 

We cook at soup kitchens one day, only to drive past the homeless the street corner the next. 

We welcome Christ in so many wonderful ways, but forget to keep Him with us. We welcome Christ, and then in small and simple ways, crucify him over and over again. 

We are not faithful. We are not steady. We are not consistent. 

But God is.

God IS faithful.

God IS steady.

God IS consistent.

And more than that - God’s LOVE is faithful, steady, consistent. 

And that’s what next Sunday is about - Easter. Easter says that no mater how bad it gets, no matter how dark, no matter how hateful - love and life will reign victorious. We killed this Christ, and he rose again, exalted on high. He rose to even greater power. He rose and gives us another chance to welcome him. On Sundays we welcome. During the week, we so often fall short and crucify him. 

We are not faithful, but God is faithful. God’s love abides whether we are welcoming him or crucifying him. God loves us wherever we are on the journey. This is a cyclical journey, not a linear one. We will welcome and crucify Christ many times over the course of our lives. We will never get it right. But God will love us through our weak human efforts. And God will love those who are hurt by our lack. Sunday will always come. Jesus will rise victorious, ready for us to welcome him into our hearts and homes, ready to give us another chance. 

On the Sundays of our lives, we are joyful and triumphant in our welcome of Christ and our proclamation of Love. On the Thursdays and Fridays of our lives, we kill the Christ and mourn for the darkness of our world. But all hope is not lost, because Sunday will always come back around, giving us another chance. God is forever tries. 

This week, let us remember. 

Three Years

Three Years.



As a new member, I used to pray often that I never lose sight of how grand and glorious a blessing the gospel is.

Well, it didn't work. This year, my baptism anniversary totally caught me by surprise. I have not been reflecting all week about what baptism means to me or how this past year has gone. Nope, haven't thought about it a bit.

What does baptism mean to me? Particularly, what does my believer's baptism into the LDS church three years ago mean to me?

That day was the first time I really made a decision for me, regardless of what anyone else said or thought I should do. Some people told me I shouldn't join the church, that I didn't know enough, that it wasn't safe. I said I'd never know "enough" to commit myself to any church, and I was choosing this one on faith. I know I might get hurt, but I took the risk anyway, believing that life will hurt me wherever I got and trusting that God would be with me through the hurt.

And I have been hurt. Not necessarily by the church. Just by life. And I think God has been with me. Or perhaps God is truly with us whenever we think to acknowledge God's presence. Really, I believe God is everywhere, all the time. That's the kind of God I believe in. A lot of times we feel without God simply because we have failed to see what's right under our noses - plenteous provision.



Baptism. A forgiveness. A rebirth. A cleansing. Baptism means that my past has no power over me. My past before my baptism, and my past since. Baptism means that the best is yet to come.

Baptism. A testimony. A loud proclamation of what God has done in my life and what God will do. In the waters of baptism I publicly proclaimed my belief in the Savior God, proclaimed His work in my life, and proclaimed bright hope for what lay ahead. Baptism is a testimony of God's faithfulness - past, present, and future.

Baptism. A covenant. A covenant to always remember the Lord and the work He has done for me. To always remember how the Lord has delivered me and saved me. How the Lord has given me worth when I felt I had none. How the Lord has organized and been sovereign over the details of my life. Remember.

Remember. Re-member. Come together, Baptism is a covenant to come together, with knowledge of my true self, with my God, and with God's people. At baptism I covenanted to re-member myself to God, and God promised to always re-member me. God promised to never leave my side. I promised to never forget God's presence at my side. How intimate and holy.

At baptism, I also covenanted to re-member God's people, to be present and vulnerable and true with the communion of saints. To take God's people as they are. To pursue authentic community, not just superficial "Hi, how are you?" This might be what I have failed most at. I'm not really a people person, or so I like to say. We're all people persons. God made us that way, to live in community, to live in relationship, to live face-to-face with other humans. That's why we Christians often describe God as a community - Father, Son, Holy Spirit - because that description rings to true to a reality that we have experienced in our lives.



For the past six months, I have been working in a Methodist Children's Ministry. Teaching children who God is, helping them discover God's character for themselves, sharing stories of Jesus, trying to answer brilliant questions, and honoring the season of Advent and Lent as a community. This has all been a joy. I have had the opportunity to research and think deeply about what I believe, who I am, and where God may want me. I don't think I'm Methodist, and that's okay.

I have loved immersing myself deeply into the liturgical calendar, which I'd never given much thought to in the past. I love the cycle of honoring seasons and seasonal changes. Our God is the God of seasons. Our world has seasons, how can we worship a God without or live a life without seasons? I love the liturgical calendar for the rhythm it gives me, the way it grounds and centers me to thinking deeply about certain subjects. In Advent and Lent, we have meditated on darkness.

In Advent, the world was dark and waiting for light. And then - light came! Just after the winter solstice, as light is returning to earth, we celebrate the birth of God's Light in our world! Then we had a short season of meditating on the life of Jesus and the things he did in a mortal body just like mine. What wonderful stories.

And now, we rest in Lent. We wait for Easter. We wait for spring. We wait for resurrection. We wait for God to bring new life.

We wait for baptism. We wait for April showers and May flowers. We wait for God to bring a cleansing on our lives and on our world. We wait as God does work that we cannot see, trusting that work is being done and that we will see the May flowers.

Spring is a time of baptism. Easter is a time of baptism. I now see why the Catholic tradition baptizes yearly on Easter Sunday. It makes so much sense.




You're the God of Seasons, my Lord.
Through summer and winter, through desert and harvest, though Advent and Lent,
          You are there.
My Lord and my God, I trust that you are working, even when I cannot see.
Work in me, Lord. Work in me and work in my life. Let me be a tool in Your hands.
Bring life from death, and let me be a field hand to aid Your work in the lives of others.



Three Years.

Prayer: Reflections for Lent - Yoga

Most people associate yoga with sweat, butts in faces, and maybe farts. We in the West have no idea. 

Yoga is an ancient practice originating from the Hindu religions of India. The word yoga comes from a Sanskrit word meaning “to yoke” or “to link.” Think yoking, like Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you.” The whole point of yoga is to be linked and yoked - mind to body, thinking self to the true or inner Self, human to the Ultimate Power, to God. 

In the West, we think of yoga as physical, something you do in workout clothes at the gym. But this is only a small part of what yoga actually is.

Yoga is a collection of “spiritual disciplines designed to clear the mind and support a state of serene, detached awareness . . . [and] balance, purity, wisdom, and peacefulness of mind." 

There are four basic types of yoga, or paths: raja, jnana, karma, and bhakti. 

Raja yoga is the path of mental concentration, or meditation. An ancient teacher of yoga describes eight “limbs” of yogic practice including moral codes, physical conditioning, breath control, concentration, meditation, and a “state of peaceful absorption.” The first limb, moral and ethical principles, are similar to what is found in spiritual paths worldwide - truth and honesty, not stealing, not coveting, devotion to God, and others. The second limb, physical conditioning, refers to asanas, or poses. This is what we Westerners usually think of when we think yoga. The other limbs refer to breathing, mantras, and other tools to focus concentration. 

It’s important to realize that at it’s core, yoga is for the mind and spirit - not the body. We often reduce yoga to a physical exercise, but in fact the physical portion is just a tool to achieve mental concentration, spiritual wisdom, and connection to the divine. 

Jnana yoga is the path of “rational inquiry.” While raja yoga attempts to transcend our rational mind to receive spiritual enlightenment, jnana yoga uses the mind as a tool to gain spiritual knowledge. This might be compared to philosophical or apologetic endeavors in Christianity. 

Karma yoga is the path of “helpful action in the world.” The two previous paths, raja and jnana, have been inward paths focusing on meditation and the self to gain enlightenment. Karma yoga grows closer to the divine by helping others. Mother Teresa is famous for acknowledge that she serves not the poor of Calcutta, but “Jesus in his most distressing disguise.” She knew that every action to those around her were actions done to Jesus - that is the path of karma yoga. 

Bhakti yoga is the path of personal devotion, and the most common among Hindus. This pathos one where the human is completely in love with and utterly devoted to a deity. One Hindu poem reads: “Thy Name is beautiful, The form is beautiful, and very beautiful is Thy love, Oh my Omnipresent Lord.” In this path, “the devotee’s whole being is surrendered to the deity in love.” This reminds me of the Hebrew “Song of Songs,” when it is interpreted as a song between the Lord and humanity, or of nuns who consecrate themselves as being “married to Jesus.” This is the path we follow when we sing songs of love and devotion:

“Heaven meets earth like a passionate kiss, and my heart beats violently inside of my chest, and I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.”  

“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending reckless love of God - it chases me down, fights till I’m found.”  

“Jesus, we love you, oh how we love you. You are the one our hearts adore. . . . Our affection, our devotion, poured out on the feet of Jesus.” 

“How we love you, how we love you, how we want you, how we want you. . . . Your love we can no longer keep inside. It’s opened up our eyes; It makes us want to sing.”

As we can see, these three yogic paths - jnana, karma, and bhakti - have parallels which we are familiar with. Thus, I will focus now on the spiritual discipline of raja yoga. We are familiar with the first limb, the moral codes. In the West, our religions certainly require certain moral action. 

We don’t often think about how the asanas (poses), breathing exercises, and mantras can be used to facilitate connection to the Divine. And truthfully, I don’t know if I can explain how this happens. Maybe that’s something that I love about it - I don’t know how it works but I know that it does. I know that when I do sun salutations in the morning, my mood is lifted. I know that when I take time to be still, I touch something deep inside of me that is the same essence of that which is central to the soul of the Universe (wow, sounds wacky). But really, when I engage in this practice, I’m surrendered. I can’t push my body to do things it can’t do, and there’s no reason to. This is an exercise in radical acceptance - of my body, of my self, of my circumstances, of the people around me, of the world. This is a place for me to acknowledge that I am not in control - and come to terms with that. The long inhales and exhales slow my heart rate, slow my thoughts, slow my anxieties. It allows me to let go of my worries and hand them off to the Person who “will generously provide all [I] need” (2 Cor 9:8). 

I know that sometimes I wake up and I don’t know what to pray. I feel lost and broken and without words. So I sit cross-legged and say to the Almighty, “Lord, here I am. Surrendered.” And then I proceed to use this body that is a “temple of the Holy Spirit” and breathe this breath that is not mine but belongs to every living being collectively. I am connected to everything else by this breath, which comes into my lungs after being used by someone else, and which will leave my lungs to give life to someone else. This practice reminds me that we are all One. This life force, this breath, this ruach - it comes to me from the Divine. It connects me to the infinite, it connects everyone else to the infinite, and it connects all of us to one another. 

With this humbling reminder, with this use of my body for something good and beautiful, I am calmed. I have prayed, I have connected with the Divine, and I have been changed by the encounter. 

All quotes are from Mary Pat Fisher, Living Religions.

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This post is the second in a series, Prayer: Reflections for Lent, which explores prayer in a variety of ways. Click below to read previous posts: 

Part 1: A Story, a Goal, and a Plan 

Part 2: A Path of Prayer

Part 3: Using a Journal

Come back on Thursdays during Lent for the next post! 

NEDAwareness: What We Want You to Know About Eating Disorders

I've never blogged for NEDAwareness, though this is something that's dear to me and something I post about on Instagram almost every year. Earlier this evening, though, I had the idea to write something for this week, though I wasn't sure what kind of post I'd write. Links to awareness websites and support resources? Personal experiences? For whatever reason, these didn't seem right for this time.

I settled on what we, people living our lives with this disorder, want you, those who are not and have not dealt with these particular struggles, to know about us and our illness.

While I know that some of my ideas are shared by others with eating disorders, I should specify that I didn't give this enough forethought to survey the community. Thus, I really should call this "what I want you to know." I understand that I come from a privileged position in this discussion. I am white, I am female, I became ill as an adolescent, I usually fall on the normal-thinner side of average, and my illness was primarily restrictive. My voice is the voice that we often see from this community. My family had the resources to seek treatment for my disorder. We had insurance that helped pay treatment and medication costs. I lived in an area with several professionals to choose from. My story is SO not everyone's story. There are struggles that come with having this disorder in a different body, in a different socioeconomic status, in just different circumstances. My perspective is not final or representative of everyone's. I encourage you to read the stories of people with eating disorders whose stories do not often get heard. The National Eating Disorders Association has a wonderful Marginalized Voices project which presents the perspectives of those voices often overlooked in the walk towards awareness.

In pursuit of awareness surrounding eating disorders, my hope is to address some of the myths surrounding eating disorders and the people who struggle with them, as well as to possibly talk about some things that may not get talked about as much. Some of these deal with the disorder itself, some of them deal with recovery.

With all of that said, here's what we want you to know.

We're not all women.

We're not all white.

We're not all adolescents.

We're not all rich and spoiled.

We're not all thin.

We're not all straight.

We're not all cisgender.

Eating disorders can affect anyone, at any time.

It's not as simple as "just eat a burger!"

We're not just doing it "for attention" (in my experiences with people I've spoken to, sometimes the intention is just the opposite - to fade away and disappear).

You can't make us recover before we're ready. Pushing or forcing someone into recovery won't work. You might see a decrease in behaviors, but without the full commitment of the person, they're likely using different behaviors and hiding them from you.

Recovery is really hard.

Recovery is not just about weight restoration. This is really really important for those who have lost weight, but reaching a healthy weight is by no means the end.

People don't have to be losing weight to have an eating disorder.

People don't even have to want to lose weight to have an eating disorder.

Not all eating disorders are restrictive (like anorexia, which involves restricting food intake to certain amounts, food groups, times, etc).

Not all eating disorders involve purging (vomiting, laxatives, extreme exercise or fasting to overcompensate for eating, etc).

People with Binge Eating Disorder aren't just lazy, fat, slob, whatever else might be used to describe them. It's a real illness that needs to be treated by a qualified team of professionals.

Don't forget Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED, formerly EDNOS). This is a diagnosis that might be used to describe individuals who use behaviors that cross diagnoses (ex. restricting along with binging in purging in cycles), or who experience all symptoms of anorexia but are not underweight or do not have amenorrhea. (Read about it here) It might be complicated, but the main point is: it's not just anorexia and bulimia.

It's not about vanity. Most of us couldn't care less about what the world thinks of how we look. We're too concerned with like, having a mental illness.

Just because we think we're fat, doesn't mean we think you're fat.

Please don't belittle us or devalue our feelings and fears. You don't know what it's like to think of dinner and have a full-blown panic attack. You just don't know. This is an illness of the mind that alters normal responses to hunger, food, and fulness. Please respect our feelings and fears, and believe us.

This is SO not about food. It's actually about a lot of other things - depression, stress, societal beauty standards, perfectionism, a hyper-controlled childhood, or a grocery list of other causes.

While eating disorders aren't caused by New York Fashion Week and Victoria's Secret models, a culture obsessed with thinness and dieting does contribute. We live in a culture that is constantly telling us that thin is best, that eating is a reward, that we work out to burn off calories, that we should be dieting and counting calories, that it's good for young people to participate in dieting programs. That thin and fit are more worthy of life and love. Terrible message. When people feel they are unloved, unworthy, undeserving, our culture gives them an easy fix - just lose weight and you'll be happy, you'll be lovable, you'll be loved, you'll be worthy. That's the trick. And that culture is a lie. Dismantling a culture defined by patriarchy, able-bodiedness, white supremacy, heteronormativity, and the like is crucial on the path of a systemic fight to prevent eating disorders.

These are addictions. Just like alcohol, just like cocaine. Some theories propose that people with restrictive eating disorders have an abnormality in the part of the brain that deals with hunger cues and rewards. Usually, humans experience hunger, feed ourselves, and the brain releases chemicals lifting our mood. For people with restrictive eating disorders, the opposite can happen - hunger itself can light up the brain's reward system. So rather than getting hangry, we might feel high. The same can happen after purging. Like an addict looks for the bottle or the drug to lift the mood after a hard day, someone with an eating disorder will look for the behavior that lowers stress and brings a high, whether it's fasting, purging, exercise, or another behavior.

Recovery doesn't happen overnight.

Just because someone is weight restored and behavior-free, that doesn't mean their mind is healed. And since this is an illness of the mind, a behavior-free but ill mind will in time revert to those old behaviors.

Some of our rules about food, fears about food, or practices surrounding food or our bodies might seem weird to you. If it's just "weird" and not dangerous, let it go. We'll work with our treatment team to achieve healing, and you just support us where we're at. Let us be weird while we're healing.

Don't yell, fuss, shame, scold, or the like if we use behaviors. It's not a disciplinary problem, it's a mental one. Instead, ask about what happened to cause the urges, and deal with that.

Talking about how gross vomiting or laxatives is won't stop us from using those behaviors.

Commenting on our weight loss or restrictive eating patterns with envy, cooing about how you "could never do that" is really . . . just don't do it. Don't be jealous of the weight loss. Don't envy the "self-control" people with restrictive eating disorders have. It's just not cool. Eating disorders are so not cool or enviable.

PLEASE don't comment on our body size or how we look. Not that we've gained or lost or "look healthy" - nothing. This can be quite triggering, and there's lots more cool stuff to talk about. "Wow, the weather, huh?!?" (The only exception I can think of is if you know someone in recovery from a restrictive or purging eating disorder who seems to be losing significant weight and isn't in treatment - then you might think about GENTLY voicing your concern.)

We might be real jerks sometimes. We're sorry. We don't want to be jerks and ruin our friendships. Often, we want to do everything except hurt you, and sometimes it seems that our eating disorder is the solution and the way to avoid hurting those we love. We might not really realize how we're hurting you. Or we might feel like this is the only choice we have to deal with whatever is going on in our lives. While I'm totally not encouraging anyone to get stuck in a codependent relationship with no boundaries, I do ask that you give us grace. Keep a distance if necessary, but try to realize that when the ED mind is in control, we're not ourselves and we're not thinking rationally. We're sorry for hurting you.

Please don't give up on us. Even if you're not sure you have hope that we'll ever recover, fake that hope for us. Tell us we can beat this. Remind us what you like about us (but don't lie, that's not cool, either). Tell us that things will get easier. Show us your hope, because we often feel like we have none.

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If you have experienced an eating disorder, what would you add? What do you want people to know about your eating disorder or recovery?


Click here for more information about National Eating Disorders Awareness Week.

Prayer: Reflections for Lent - Using a Journal

I am a huge fan of the prayer journal. As I wrote in the intro to this series, a prayer journal was the way I started praying. I am a writer, and it’s much easier for me to write to God (or anyone else) than to have to say words out loud. A pen and a page is my comfort and security. 

Over the years, I’ve used prayer journals in three ways. I’ll write about each of them briefly. 

The first prayer journal I had was simply a collection of prayers. I was raised Methodist, and we prayed the Lord’s Prayer each Sunday in service. 

"Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,      on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. Forgive us our trespasses      as we forgive those who trespass against us, And lead us not into temptation      but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom,      and the power,           and the glory forever. Amen.

(Sidenote: If you look, you’ll notice that Jesus here uses a PATH or ACTS pattern of prayer. He begins by naming and describing who God is, praise and adoration - Father in heaven, holy are you. Then he goes on to ask for help, or supplicate - thy will be done, give us bread, forgive us, help us forgive others, keep us from sin. We talked about these patterns of prayer in a previous post.)

My first prayer journal included some of my grandmother’s Catholic prayers, too:

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Ghost.As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,World without end. Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.Blessed art thou among women,and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.Holy Mary, Mother of God,pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Later, I prayed using the Upper Room devotional and I would write the provided prayers as a letter to God in my prayer journal.

If you’re interested in a prayer journal like this, you can find pre-written prayers al over the place. Just google, and you’ll likely find a prayer for every situation you could imagine. 

Another fabulous place to look for pre-written prayers is scripture itself. The book of Psalms is a collection of ancient hymns (ever noticed that the word “psalm” sounds a lot like “song”? Yeah, that’s a linguistic connection). When you don’t know what to pray, the Psalms are an excellent resource for joining yourself with a great legacy of faith. There are also prayers scattered throughout the Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants that you could use verbatim or alter to suit your needs. The Quran also includes many passages of prayer. What’s so great about these is that you’re not praying alone, but joining with thousands of even millions of other people praying just as you are. 

When it came time to pray - morning, evening, lunch, whenever - I would find the prayer that was appropriate. This type of prayer journal was immensely helpful when I didn’t know what to pray. 

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Once I became somewhat comfortable with the idea of praying, I would use my journal as a place to write personal letters. I’d write my prayers (Dear God, . . . ) but I wrote my own words. I’d sometimes still go for the PATH/ACTS formula. Other times I’d write like I was writing to a friend from summer camp, simply telling God what’s going on in my life, how I was feeling, what I was looking forward to, and asking for help with things. 

I did this during what I would call my strongest period of prayer. This was during my first year in college, when I was investigating the LDS church. I would wake up each morning, get dressed, and walk to the cafeteria. I’d start my time with a short, simple prayer in my mind, thanking God for my food, asking a blessing upon it, and asking for the Holy Ghost to be with me as I read and prayed. Then, I would read as I ate. I always started with a Psalm or Proverb - something to remind me how to pray or how to live. Then, I’d read through a few chapters, usually in the Book of Mormon. After reading and eating, I’d write. I’d thank God for what was going on, I’d pray for help implementing the things I’d learned during my scripture study, and I’d ask a blessing upon my day. I treasured this morning time with God. And I dreaded when anyone wanted to stop by to say hello in the cafeteria! 

If you’re unsure about the whole praying-out-loud thing, I’d recommend writing prayers as a starting point. 

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The final way of using a prayer journal is one I just recently learned about and began utilizing. It’s not better or worse than any of the others, just different. I was inspired to follow this method after hearing from a local preacher and from Alyssa Joy Bethke (married to Jefferson Bethke, whom you might know from this video).

In this way, I have separated sections for each part of prayer. I pray along a sort of PATH/ACTS pattern. I have a page with a list of who God is - merciful, generous, judge, redeemer. Then, I have a list of what God does - You hear my cry, You protect me, You are making me new. Both of these are based on what I read in scripture, hear in songs, and experience in my daily life. Next, I have a (very short) list of things to thank God for. Finally, I have a list of people to pray for by name - my family, friends, coworkers, a child I sponsor through Compassion International. I also have a list of personal requests - things I’m asking God for myself, rather than prayers for others. I ask God to help me love others, to know what to do, to bless my work, and more. 

This is the method I’m using right now. Each morning, I begin my time with a Psalm, one of those ancient prayers that have been spoken to God for thousands of years. Then, I read in the scripture (right now I’m reading through the New Testament, then I’ll go through the Book of Mormon). After that, I have a daily devotional that was given to me - Tozer on the Almighty God. This book has a verse, an excerpt from the writing of Tozer, and a simple prayer (to be honest, I’m not crazy about it, but I’m giving it a go since I received it from a friend). Once I’m done reading, I kneel to pray. I go through my journal, praising God for who God is and what God does, thank God for what God has provided for me, and humbly asking God to bless myself and the people in my life.

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The prayer journal has been the most important and influential tool for prayer in my life. If you aren’t praying, if you feel like you don’t know how to pray, if you want to start a daily habit of prayer, or if you’re looking for a way to improve your prayer time, I highly recommend trying a journal! 

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This post is the second in a series, Prayer: Reflections for Lent, which explores prayer in a variety of ways. Click below to read previous posts: 

Part 1: A Story, a Goal, and a Plan 

Part 2: A Path of Prayer

Come back on Thursdays during Lent for the next post!